contrarium | 𝘫𝘢𝘺𝘸𝘰𝘯

Chapter 14

Jungwon's POV

I really felt guilty as I finished puking. I have to teach Jay properly but here I am, sick and weak. I really have to take my meds immediately but I understand that my mom barely makes enough money.

As I come out of the comfort room, there are no signs of Mr. Jay Park. Where is that guy? Our session isn't done yet.

I looked for him outside the room but I did not see him. I traveled places through my eyes and saw him. Yes! That's him. Or is that really him? I know Jay's back but I'm not sure. If he's really this guy— oh! He's that one. His shoes are expensive they shine even from this distance.

I secretly followed him since what's left for me to do? If he fails a subject then it's the end of Yang Jungwon, y'all. But first, let me get myself a bottle of water because I am dehydrated. I mean, I just vomited!

I lost sight of him eventually. Why is he running so fast? Oh! Is he going to meet Arin? I searched for him through every corridors and hallways but where is that guy?

I continued my search and walked for a while until I hear a screaming guy. Obviously, that's Jay. His scream alone can be his identification. Let's not talk about his face while yelling.

"How could you do this? How could you hurt Jungwon?! You've been close friends since middle school!" I heard Jay yelling these words to someone. Who is he talking to? Why is he so mad? And who hurt me?

I peeped behind this wall I'm hiding and saw no other than my boyfriend—Heeseung. Afraid that I'll get caught, I hid myself again. I will just listen to them.

"If it wasn't for you, he won't experience this. He's a junior of mine but that doesn't mean I want him as my lover. I still love Arin but you! You took her away from me!" Heeseung said and I heard a sound of a punch.

But what I heard the most was the beating of my heart. Every beat screams pain and all I could think of is... pain.

I thought for once I am enough. Tears started falling after hearing those words from Heeseung. I guess I do not deserve love at all.

"I told you I do not love your girl! She's all yours! We've broken up already and she's just insisting herself in my life!" Jay said.

Wait, he does not love Arin?! Oh come on. I am really having mixed emotions right now. I neglected my feelings for him before because I thought he's in love already!

Jungwon, your boyfriend just said his lies, you have to be sad.

"The damage has been done, Jay. I was hurt and I am still. You should get hurt too." I heard Heeseung spoke. Why do I have to get involved then? I just wanted to love.

"But you did not have to do this Jungwon! He's too pure for this!" Jay cracked his voice. I almost laughed if only I am not hurt as of the moment.

"Don't worry, you motherf*cker! I'll let Jungwon know about this!" No, Jay. Don't worry, I knew it already. All thanks to you.

I wiped my tears. I don't want to cry anymore. Not again. Not today. I thought Heeseung will be the perfect one for me but I'm so wrong. All this time, he planned on hurting me and Jay.

"Do you think he will still believe in you? Pathetic! He thinks of you as the worst person alive, Jay. He won't even talk to you if it wasn't for your dad's request!" Heeseung said and at this point I want to just pop in front of them and scream all the hatred I have for Heeseung right now. I know to myself I have to be strong and when life hits so hard, All I could do is move forward.

No! I still want to be Jay's friend no matter what happens. Not even because of the scholarship but because of how good of a person he truly is. Which is far from how they describe him.

Jay may look intimidating but he's really a nice guy. He's actually soft or maybe he's just soft towards me?

"You sh*t! You poisoned his mind!" He's right. Heeseung poisoned my mind. I hate him! I was about to leave when I felt so dizzy.

Recently, I've been experiencing dizziness again and I hate this feeling so much. I accidentally dropped my water bottle on the ground.

"Oh father of seven dogs and eight ducks!" I whispered to myself. I quickly ran despite being dizzy to hide to another place.

When I'm far enough from where I saw them, I immediately called Sunoo hyung for help. I can't handle this anymore. I don't really know which hurts. Is it my head or my heart?

He called me right away and I told him where I am. I also told him to not bring Ni-ki with him. I don't want him to worry about me.

I tried to calm myself as I wait for my bestie but moments later, the pain gets worse and worse every time and I really want to shout in pain. I let myself sit on the ground when in fact I can't control myself anymore. My dizziness turned to headache.

I wish this is just a normal headache that everyone may feel but it isn't. Unfortunately, I'm unfortunate.

I want to get rid of this pain. I want to end this now. I don't want this anymore! I rubbed my head and even pulled my hair to lessen the pain  that I feel but nothing works anymore.

And the next thing I knew, everything was dark. Again. I am alone in the darkness. Alone and broken. Alone and unloved. Alone and unwanted.

— end of chapter 14 —