contrarium | 𝘫𝘢𝘺𝘸𝘰𝘯

Chapter 30

Jay's POV

These past few days haven't been easy for the two of us. The world tells me to stop hoping Jungwon will live longer but it just hits different when you are in my situation.

I don't even sleep anymore because I just want to stare at him. I want to watch out every moment because I am afraid if I blink, my baby will leave me.

— flashback : last night —

"I'm glad I can now just spend the treatment here. Being at the hospital sucks, right? It feels like I'm going to die just by laying down on that hospital bed." He told me and cuddled.

"You have to promise me you will stay strong so we won't go back there unless it is just for your check ups." I replied and kissed him on the lips. What bothered me more is that the lips I've always loved to kiss became pale. But I still love my Jungwon no matter what.

"I love you, Jay. I couldn't thank you enough for everything you do for us. For our relationship. School is about to start again and I promise we'll go back to the university together." Jungwon said and gave me the sweetest smiles.

"I love you more than anything else, Wonie. Don't think of school yet, okay? Let's sleep?"

I turned off the lamp beside our bed as he gave me a nod. We cuddled tighter and felt the warmth of our bodies just like how we always make each other feel the warmth of our love.

— end of flashback —

I know I always tell Jungwon all the positivities I can but deep down my heart, I am broken into pieces. The day I knew he had this disease, that was the most painful day of my life that I wish it never happened.

I prayed for someone to come into my life and make me a better person and Jungwon did. I don't understand why does an precious human being like him has to suffer like this?!

I stood up and did not wake Jungwon up because he needs rest. I went to their kitchen and started making breakfast for him.

"Like a fever, fever, fe—"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" I was stopped singing when I heard Jungwon's scream. Oh crap.

I rushed upstairs to check on him and I saw him lying on the ground touching his head using his both hands.

"Jungwon, calm down please. We'll go to the hospital." I carried him and head our way to my car.

"It hurts like hell, Jay. I can't take it anymore!" Jungwon told me and he's still crying. I can see how he's hurting inside. I am about to cry because I just can't handle seeing him like this but I have to focus and bring him safely to the hospital.

"Jungwon-ah, please stay with me okay? We'll be there quickly." I said and drove my car as fast as I can. I even questioned why do these things happen when all I wanted is a happy life with Jungwon.

He's crying beside me right now and I don't even know how to stop him. As soon as we arrived, I called the attention of the hospital staffs and nurses to cater Jungwon's needs.

"I'm sorry but you have to wait here." The nurse told me and went inside the emergency room with my baby. I called the department where Jungwon's mom works to allow her to leave now and I also called her to inform her about what just happened.

— moments after —

"Jay, what happened and where is Jungwon?" Jungwon's mom came and rushed to my location. I can see her eyes the worries but pain is more dominant. If it hurts for me, then it is the most painful thing for a mother like her.