Andrew

42

~  "We'd fall through" He repeats. I nodded softly looking away from his eyes. Shawn grabbed my hand making me look at it. He rubs my hand softly with his thumb. "Y/n I-......" Shawn said making me look surprised at him... he said.........~

"Y/n I-... I really love you. I don't know in which way and how. I don't know what I have to do
 But I also care about you and I see this is killing you. So maybe its better if we first take some time for ourselfs and just be friends... just to take some rest from the pain..." Shawn said making me look surprised at him. "Yeah..... I uh think that is a good idea" I said. Shawn gave me a warm but... sad smile.
-
I placed my head on his shoulder. Looking at the street. I felt how he placed a soft kiss on my hair. "You know, I care" Shawn whispered. Making me look at him. "I don't mean to hurt you" Shawn said. I gave him a smile. "We just have to go trough this I guess" I said making Shawn nod. "Maybe we end up together... maybe we don't" I said. "But whatever happens, we do it together" Shawn said grabbing my hand. I smiled and nodded. We walked back inside. Oh god... what am I gonna tell my dad... "We are just gonna look how it ends okay?" Shawn said to my dad. "Okay" My dad said. I smiled and walked to the other ideas. A lot is on my mind. I mean.... I want Shawn... But do I need him? Do I really want him? Or is just love that I want? I don't know anymore....
-
I grabbed a guitar and started playing dumb melodies.

"If life's like a movie, do all things stop?
After the kiss, does the curtain drop?
If all feels so perfect, what happens next?
'Cause we all know that deep down all the movies end" I sang softly.

I thought about the day I was in his condo. Sitting on his kitchen counter. Kissing him. Going trough his hair. Holding him. Feeling him...loving him.

" Oh, if life's like a movie, don't make it stop
After the kiss, raise the curtain up
If all feels so perfect, think 'bout what's next
'Cause if you like the movie then watch it again" I softly sang.

Making me think again what I just sang. "Watch it again" I whispered. I walked to the studio where Shawn was. He was alone... probably jamming.
-
I walked to him and sat down in front of him. He looked up at me. "I just need to do this for the last time" I said. "Uh okay?" Shawn said. I leaned in and kissed his lips. Shawn first didn't kiss back but after a second he grabbed me by my hips pulling me on his lap. Holding me close and kissing me. He grabbed my face and deepened the kiss. This kiss is more then a normal kiss. No this kiss, this kiss is special. Magical. I pulled softly away. "We have to work this out" Shawn said making me nod. I placed my forehead against his. He grabs my face and kissed my forehead. I stood up and before I walked out the door to the other studio, I looked in his eyes. I sat down in the other studio staring at the wall. "Damn" I whispered. I looked around and then the door opens.... it was......
-