Dating Diaries

Heartbreak 💔

A couple of days before fest Babli, Shaurya and Ahir meet at Babli's place because she calls them for a ice cream party.

Ahir-Yeh get together ke piche ko khas wajah. I mean we are always there to have ice cream.

Shaurya-I think khushi nhi yaad mein hai. Vicky ko miss kar rhi ho?

Babli-Haan woh. Woh work out nhi hua. Maine Nikki se kaise kahun. Mujhe pata hai woh fest ko lekar pareshan hai. Toh.

Shaurya-Tum theekh ho?

Babli-Hmm. Keh sakte ho. Jab kuch bana hi nhi toh tutne ka kya gam hoga.

Ahir-Toh aapke aankhon mein yeh aasoon nhi hote.

Babli-Aasoon uske nhi hai. Woh feeling ke aasoon jo  aapko tab hoti hai jab aapko pata hai aap kabhi move on nhi kar sakte. Kabhi apne past ko bhula nhi sakte.

Ahir-Dekhiye kabhi kabhi cheeze work nhi karti. It's ok. Aage kafi life hai. Koi aur hoga aapke life mein.
Babli-Hmmm. Jab work nhi karti tab aap chod dete ho usse. Kafi better hai naukarani bankar rehne se. Vineet. Kyu. Kyu nhi peecha chodte. Kyu.
Kaise bhulao mein uss past ko. Pata hai Vicky aur mere beech ek dayra sa hai. Ek darr ka dayra. Mein usse andar aane de nhi sakti. Jab woh paas aata hai bohot toh ek darr sa, discomfort saa lagta hai. Pata hai woh Vineet nhi hai magar. Hum dono kuch aisa dhoodne ki koshish kar rhe the jo wapas kabhi nhi aa sakta. College mein alag thi mein. Aisi nhi thi. Uske baad kuch ban gyi. Aur ab aur kuch. Yeh darr  kab khatam hoga. Kabhi khatam bhi hoga. Woh maar, woh sab cheeze jo huyi mein nhi bhul sakti.

Ahir-Babli ji koi nhi bhulta yeh cheeze. Waqt lagta hai. Isme koi galti nhi hai aapki. Khudpe itna pressure mat daliye.

Shaurya-Exactly. Abhi inn cheezon ko huye waqt hi kahan hua hai. Abhi tumhe nayi yaadein banani padengi. Tab dheere dheere ye sab bhul paoge.
Babli-Pata hai kisi bhi ladke ko dekhkar mentally distance mapne lagna woh kya feel hota hai. Jab koi aapke paas aata hai tab woh darr kya feel hota hai. Woh darr koi nhi samjh sakta. Ek aise insaan ke sath sona ek bed pe jisne aapko panch minute pehle mara ho kya feeling hoti hai. Uss insaan ke sath sona. Aaj bhi raaton se nafrat karti hoon. Raat hone lagti hai toh I just hate it. I really really hate it. Raat bohot ajeeb lagti thi tab. Woh toh so jata tha. Mujhe neend nhi aati thi. Shadi kiye itne waqt ke baad bhi woh normal nhi bana mere liye. Woh. Log kehte the normal hota hai. But mere liye normal nhi bana. Mujhi mein laga problem mujhme hai. But I know mujhme koi problem nhi hai. Woh hai problem. Ek aisa problem jo din raat itne dino tak mujhse chipka hua tha. Chewing gum jaise. I hate chewing gum. She can't speak anymore. She shuts her eyes but opens it immediately as the past flashes before her. She hugs Ahir and starts to cry a lot.
(Ahir is like a friend ok.)

Ahir-You know naa aap kabhi bulake bas ro sakte ho.

Babli-You know mein sochti hoon Nikki jaise bhag gyi hoti toh yeh sab nahi hua hota. Khud ko kosti hoon uss cheez ke liye.

Shaurya-Jo Anokhi ko karna pada woh karne ki zaroorat nhi honi chahiye. Aapka right hai ki aap jab chahe shadi karo. Jo chahe karo apne life ke sath. Uske liye ladne ki zaroorat nhi honi chahiye. Aapki koi galti nhi hai. Aap samjh rhi hai.

Babli-Pata nhi. Aap logon ka bhi mood off kar diya.

Ahir-Arre ye kaisi baat hai. Dost nhi manti aap.

Shaurya-Dost hoon mein theekh hai. Ab Ahir ko jaise god mein uthaya tha waise uthake prove karna padega.

Babli-Aapna. Pagal ho. Pagal.

Shaurya-Woh toh mein hoon.

Babli-Aur bohot ache bhi. Aap dono.

Ahir-Achaa thank you.

Shaurya-Mujhe toh pata hi nhi tha kitna achaa hoon. Waise achai ka kya fayda aapki Nikki woh toh gayab hi hai. Kabhi apne boyfriend ko time nhi deti.

Babli-Achaa meri Nikki ki burai mujhse.

Shaurya-Haan aapke face pe smile toh aayi naa.

Babli-Haan. Usme aap expert ho.

Ahir-Aur mein kisme expert hoon.

Babli-Ok aap bhi ho.Chalo mein ice cream lati hoon.

Ahir-Arre mein lata hoon.

Babli-Mein lati hoon.

She gets 2 cups and a huge bowl with lot of scoops.

Both Shaurya and Ahir together-Yeh kya

Babli-Aapka break up hua? Nhi toh chup chap ek ek scoop se kaam chalao.

She switches on Tv. Set Max pe Ddlj is running.

Babli-Ye ladke movie mein hi itne acche kyu hote hai. Real life mein aise kyu hote hai.

Shaurya-Sahi kahan aapne. Don't worry ek achaa ladka dhoodnga apni sali ke liye. Kaisa ladka chahiye? Waise toh mujhe pata hai mujh jaisa koi chahiye hoga. Smart, handsome, well educated.

Ahir-Nhi usse mujh jaisa koi shareef chahiye hoga.

Babli-Filhaal ke liye mein ek smart, handsome, well educated dost aur ek shareef dost ke sath khush hoon.
Aur haan koi Nikki se kuch nhi kahega mein uske fest ke baad usse bata dungi.

Shaurya-Aap ok rahoge naa? I know bolna ka fayda nhi but Sabbarwal mansion aa sakte ho.

Ahir-Arre wahan kyu jaoge mere ghar aa jao.

Babli-Apne ghar pe theekh hoon. Apne darr se jeetne ki koshish kar rhi hoon.

Shaurya-Ek baat kahoon bura nhi manogi?

Babli-Kya? Bhai word use nhi karti kyunki saga bhai kameena hai. Marta tha hum dono ko. Toh. Magar tum dono bhai hi ho. Sache aur acche bhai mere. Toh bolo.

Shaurya-Kabhi khudko thoda toh break do. Har din ek darr ko face karna like on day to day basis hard hai. I can't imagine tumhe kaise feel hota hoga. Sochke hi. Magar apne panic attacks ke experience se keh sakta hoon. Ki har din darr ko face karna bohot bohot mushkil hai. Ek aad din it's ok to say I lose. I give up. I need someone. I want to cry.

Babli-Toh aaj woh din hai. Achaa mein aaungi. Waise fest ke baad dekhte hai koi do teen din aaungi. And Ahir ji uske baad aapka ghar.

Ahir-Ok yeahhhh!

Shaurya-Arre yeh hui naa baat.

They share a group hug.

Babli-Thank you thoda better feel karwane ke liye.

Ahir-Any time hum hazir hai.

Shaurya-Haan inspector vela insaan hai.

Ahir-Toh tum kya ho.

Shaurya-Vela, apni girlfriend ke do pyaar bhare lafz ke liye tadpne wala professor.

And then they laugh at that.

I have implied marital rape in this but victims find it hard to reveal or accept it that they have experienced that. So I left it implied.

Leave your comments as to how you found it. No shakhi in this. I wanted to show how men can empathize with women and I say empathise not pity women who have faced something like this. Also it's ok for women to talk about this to guys if they want to. Also guys can create a comfortable space for conversations like this. Domestic violence is not a "girl conversation".