Not On The Wheel (Bill Cipher x Reader)

Chapter Fourteen: Within My Mind

Yo! We made it to 1K reads guys! That's crazy!

I know that Gravity Falls hasn't been a wildly active fandom, especially since it ended 6 years ago, but the fact that there are still people willing to read my little fic is just really amazing. I really appreciate every single person who's taken the time to read, vote, and comment. It always makes my day :3

With that being said, I hope you enjoy this week's chapter! Vote, comment, and share if you'd like. And thanks again for getting me this far.
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CW: Mentions of alcoholism and slight abuse

To say that Y/n was pleased to find herself back in her own mind would be a complete understatement. With how the past few days had gone, she was worried she was going to be wracked with the insomnia that plagued her back in Piedmont. Even if she woke up feeling like she had stayed up for a week straight, as long as she could still visit her little field, then she'd be the least bit satisfied.

But tonight, when she hit the bed and drifted off to sleep and wound up leaning against the oak, she wasted no time running back to the house of her memories. She hated abandoning her little paradise, but she had a job to do.

She trudged up the path, watching as the little tufts of grass along the path started to lose their color as she neared her raw memories.

Reaching the divide, Y/n took a deep breath, before rushing to the door. She didn't know if Bill was coming to visit her or not, but at the very least she wanted to sort out and organize some memories before he came.

Specifically...

Y/n stopped suddenly, face to face with the oak tree that stemmed from the center of the house. The floor was still sealed up from their previous visit, but it was a shoddy job. Today— if she were to do nothing else— she was going to lock up all those memories down there for good.

They did nothing but remind her of things that once were and never could be again. Even the happiest memories from her childhood were bittersweet at best. She had already known what had happened, and now that she learned that the fire really did exist, Y/n had a clearer picture than she ever wanted.

They held her back from letting herself feel at home in her new home. She was tired of trying so hard to fit in and be a Pines while having these thoughts and memories nagging her every movement and leading her to overthink every social situation. It was getting harder for her to accept her new name when memories of her old one kept resurfacing and made her feel even more like an intruder in the family.

So, she figured that boarding up the memories for the time being would help keep away any trauma trying to plague her already weary mind. And at least relax her long enough to possibly find herself feeling at home with the family who so graciously took her in all those years ago.

Y/n started walking towards the tree— which, in itself, was a negative memory she was planning to hide— and held out her hand. Just like before, the floor bent to her will, floorboard retracting in on themselves as the gaping hole reopened by the base of the trunk. Voices slowly rose to her ears, whispers of her past taunting her.

There was no telling how deep the hole was; it was too dark to tell. The branches of the oak tree weren't close enough for her to just hop from one to another on her descent.

Y/n cocked her head to the side, crossing her arms. Just how was she supposed to go about getting down there?

"What did Bill say again?" She wondered out loud, crouching down near the mouth of the gaping pit. "This is my mind... I can control what goes on here, right?"

Y/n stood up once again, stepping closer to the edge. The tips of her shoes were hanging above the chasm, and she swayed slightly. If she could control what happens in here, then...

"Well," Y/n breathed in steadily, holding her arms out to her sides. "It's not like I can die here," she muttered. She took a glance at her cast, a sense of nostalgia washing over her momentarily, before addressing the hole again. How ironic, her voice echoed around her.

"Let's just hope there's a soft landing this time."

Shutting her eyes, Y/n dropped herself from the edge, letting the darkness consume her as she plummeted to an unknown depth.

She continued to fall for several seconds, her hair flowing up behind her as she kept her eyes shut, trying to focus on the sound around her. The voices started to gain volume as she neared the bottom of the chasm. And right as they reached a climax, she threw her hands out, willing herself to stop suddenly.

Y/n became completely static, completely laying on air.