Sky High

Racing Heart

Yoon Se Ri

It's so unfair how he could easily change narrative in this conversation. I knew it was partly my fault but I couldn't keep it shut anymore. I had to know about him and Dr. Kang. We were joking about chicken wing earlier and suddenly... this.

It's not even several hours since I claimed I'd fight for Jeong Hyeok, and here I am facing his intense gaze as he asked his question. I want to turn away but his eyes freeze me. They plead with me to stay. So my heart took the toll. From zero to sixty in a heartbeat. From beating steadily to erratically in a second.

And it's not like I don't understand the question, it's just...

I can't believe it.

If we're in a slightly different situation, I want to tease him so badly just to deflect. Because based on the clue alone, I can easily say it's his mother and it still makes sense.

But... I know it's different time and place. I won't do that to him.

I won't do that to myself. With the way he asked the question and the way he specifically stated that it wasn't Dr. Kang or any other woman...

The only logical answer will be... me?

That's where the problem lays. How could it be me?

It's not so weird to know he's thinking of me considering we are forever connected by the tragedies between us. I'm thinking about him all the time to. Even as far as falling in love with him while I was married.

But... him thinking of me outside of the frame? Outside compassion and regret? Am I dreaming?

Is it because of the distance? Is it because I said I'd call him and failed to do it?

My thought is interrupted by his sigh. I finally realize I am lost in my mind and break our connection.

You're being complicated once again, Yoon Se Ri. Why can't you stop thinking?

"Is it so hard to believe?" Jeong Hyeok asks me softly, our eyes locked again. I let out a small nervous smile.

"Yes, it is." I answer him honestly. He breaks our connection this time choosing to stare outside the window. Collecting his thought. I keep my eyes on him observing his forehead creases and his jaw tightens.

"It was against my will, you know, when I dropped you off in your parents' house the last time we met. In my mind, we would pass the hard time together, like we did when Hyun Ki was born. But I understood, you needed time, you needed space. That was the only reason I let you.

"It was one of the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Letting you be. I couldn't count how many times I wanted to call you. Wanted to talk to you. Aside from tending to my mother..." He pauses then turns to me.

"Thinking of you was the only constant thing I did."

He looks at me in the eyes so tenderly as if ensuring I know that what he says is sincere. I feel my face warms at his words. All the thousand butterflies in my stomach stirs and my heart starts its erratic rhythm once again. On cue.

Oh my, he is serious. Ri Jeong Hyeok really says he's thinking of me all the time.

"Oh, wow." That's the only response I can give. My brain is short-circuited somewhere along his last sentence.

I know my face must be blushing uncontrollably especially with him still staring at me intensely. I turn away from him and awkwardly reach for my beer on the table trying to calm myself.