Memories

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Yoon Se Ri

The sound of my name on his lips were a welcome change from weeks of nothingness.

"Ri Jeong Hyeok? Jeong Hyeok-ah, is that you?" I asked urgently.

"Yeah, this is me." He answered as if he was feet away from the phone. He sounded weak and sick. But he was alive and he was talking to me.

"Oh, thank God!" That was all I could say as I felt the tears of relief trickled down. I felt my father in law patted my back gently.

So many questions I wanted to bombard him, so many things I needed answers but it came down to one thing.

"Jeong Hyeok-ah, how are you feeling?"

"Groggy still. I... I've just regained consciousness this morning." He sounded groggy but why I got the feeling that he was not there? I sensed the hesitancy and it alarmed me.

"Thank you for fighting. Thank you for keeping your promise."

"What promise?" He asked in confusion. That sent another alarm to me. Was he that groggy that he forgot about his promise?

"Our..." I didn't get the chance to answer as he cut me off. "Yoon Se Ri, can I talk to my mother?"

"Your mother?" I repeated his question, I was completely befuddled by his reaction.

He acted like I was no one. Like I was not his wife. The relief I felt just moments ago was washed away quickly. I looked at Abeonim with visible confusion that it must have alerted him.

He asked me with his eyes but I was the one who needed answers. I shook my head and shrugged my shoulder.

"Yeah, I need to tell her I'm okay, she must be worried sick."

And I was not? I didn't expect a simple statement could hurt me this much.

"Jeong Hyeok-ah, what's happening? Are you really okay? Do you know who I am?" I needed to try to talk to him once again.

"I am. I am okay and of course I know who you are, Yoon Se Ri. Now, can I talk to my mother?"

I couldn't continue the conversation. I just couldn't. I weakly gave the phone to my father in law and got out of the room.

Jeong Hyeok said he knew me, but obviously he didn't. Or else he wouldn't act like that.

My husband would whisper words of reassurance. My husband would tell me he loved me and couldn't wait to get back to me.

That was obviously not my husband, I sadly thought as I searched for my mother in law. My sad expression must have been clear as day that Eomeonim dropped her activity in the backyard.

"Se Ri-ah, what's happening? Oh no, oh God, no." I shook my head. "Eomeonim, it's okay. It's okay. Jeong Hyeok finally calls and he wants to talk to you." She waited no longer, running to Abeonim's study. And I chose to stay here.

The beautiful flower garden did nothing to ease the heaviness in my heart. I sat down on the bench at the center of the garden, gazing at the flowers with empty stare. As empty as my mind.

With amount of tears streamed down my face over the last few weeks, I would've thought I had nothing left to shed. Still, as my body shook and I cried, the tears fell down freely. Wetting my face once more.

I always knew life was unfair. But this was beyond me. Again, I questioned God in my head. What did I do in my past life that I had to experience heartbreak over heartbreak?

That I had to see my loved ones taken one by one. I knew Jeong Hyeok was alive and I should've been grateful, but...

But nothing.

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