Mr. Harsh & Her

Chapter 37

Alexander's POV

"And how would you feel if you saw a man who you assumed to be your father stand in front of you?" the dimwit of a shrink asked me for the umpteenth time.

"I don't fucking know. My dad's dead already you know that. I just don't understand why we have to talk about this shit over and over again." I was having enough of this repetitive session already. I saw the time and was counting the down the few more minutes until I could run out of this hell hole.

Dr Augustine sighed at me and made some more notes in his notepad. "Listen, Alexander. I've been asking you the same question because you keep on detaching yourself from the situation. It's crucial to understand where Rachel is coming from."

I tapped my foot impatiently waiting for the clock to strike 12 so I could be out of here. "I don't... detach myself or whatever the fuck you're saying. I simply... you know... reserve my energy for something more useful," I waved my hands around trying to make sense of the words coming out of my own mouth. What the hell was I even saying.

"You told me that she is fragile as of lately. This is going to add to her inner turmoil and additionally it will bring out your harsh temperamental side. It's a natural phenomenon in your case. We've been doing good so far at eradicating that. I need you to delve in a bit deeper."

I rolled my eyes at him and made sure that he saw it. "I don't detach myself. It's not my thing to be overly sensitive. I maintain a healthy balance."

The man wasn't having it with me today. I was being really difficult.

Okay fuck it

"Fine. I don't know how to comfort or 'be there'. I do feel terrible for her though."

Hearing that he perked up at me but in a mocking sense. "Finally, Alexander. You admit out loud to feeling something."

I glared at the asswipe. "I get that my past shit has influence some of my behaviour today, but this whole comforting thing has never been a part of me. Like how do you do that shit? I hug her, touch her, say nice things and very often I end up fucking her."

"End up fucking her? Interesting choice of words..." He wrote some more nonsense in his notepad. What was he even making notes for? Was there a point to it?

"I'm no sex guide, but try making love to her. Not just fucking her. It will allow you to open up to her. Tantric sex... It will do you both good."

I took a sip from the complimentary bottle of water on the table and thought about his words. I shook my head no. "Tantric sex is not my thing and I don't believe in that love shit."

"But she does?"

"Well... I guess so."

"Then do it for her, Alexander. As for 'being there', there isn't a concrete definition for it. Everybody is different. But everybody needs support."

I slowly took in his words and pondered over it. I hesitated with my words, "I don't think I love her. I like her. I care for her. I know I feel something towards her, but I'm having trouble pinpointing the emotion."

Dr Augustine nodded at me and waved his hand gesturing for me to continue with where my thoughts where heading.

"But I disagree with your support statement. I made it to the top of the chain without any support. People are spoilt in that sense, wanting that support nonsense. You can do everything by yourself. There is no need to put your problems on others. Deal with it yourself," I said a tad bit arrogantly. It was a concept I would never grasp.