Through The Len's Part Two

16: No Pineapple

After cleaning the house to the best of my abilities in the short time I had, I ran out to the stables to check on the horses. I was surprised to see that they had actually been taken care of. With the state, Ian was in and the house I just assumed he hadn't made it out here. 

I speak to them all and stroke them, change their water so it was fresh through the night. "I'll be back in the morning boys," I tell them before running back to the house, it was getting cooler out and I only had a sports bra on as I took my hoodie off when I was cleaning the bathrooms. I checked in with Nina to see how Indie was doing and she was just having her bath time. She didn't ask about Ian, once they all knew he was home safe they left it to Paul and me to manage. I appreciate it, I didn't feel like answering a million questions whilst I washed sick out of his hair or when I was picking up trash off the floor. I needed to save some of Ian's dignity slightly.

Ian was mostly sober by now, he was making more sense when he talked and he wasn't repeating himself anymore which I appreciated because I didn't feel like answering him when he reminded me it was our 10 year anniversary again. It hurt enough today. 

When I went up they were eating pizza's that Paul ordered for them. Ian smiled softly at me I shifted by the door. "No pineapple, I promise." He said, holding it out to me. "I'm going to use the bathroom," Paul said excusing himself. "One slice." "I'm not hungry," I tell him. "You've looked after me all day, let me help." I shake my head no. "You think you're in control but you're not Isa... So take the control back... one slice." I swallowed the lump in my throat and sat on the edge of the bed I took the small slice from him and held it, looking at it. I didn't want to lose control. I couldn't lose control of this. He went back to eating. I took a bite. Pizza was my favourite... I remember when we had a pizza party at my apartment... it turned into a huge flour fight. I smiled to myself thinking back to when things were less complicated. My mum was still alive, everyone was pretty much single and childless. We were just having fun. Life was easy. 

"Thank you... For coming over today." I nodded. "I still cared about you, Ian. You're Indie's dad she needs you." He nodded. "Indie adores Bodhi by the way," I inform him. He looked shocked. "Nikki and I thought they should be introduced, normalise it to them from now instead of in a few years." "You hung out with Nikki." I nodded. He looked surprised. "Maybe their dad could take them out together sometime," I tell him softly looking up at him through my lashes. I handed my crust to Ian, it was his favourite part. "I don't think she'll even remember me." He says sadly. I get by phone from my bag and show him a video.

Indie was walking around my bedroom holding Ian's photo. "Dada." "Is it Dada?" I asked her. "Dada." She said handing me the picture. "It is dada," I tell her. "Can you give dada, love," I tell her, love means kiss? She kissed the picture. "Aww, that's nice." I praised. "Dada." She said getting excited again. "She knows exactly who you are, E." He was tearing up watching the video again, I let him take my phone. "There are loads of photos, feel free," I tell him closing the pizza box the smell making me feel a little ill. I always spoke about Ian to Indie, I told her he loved her and missed her. I told her stories from when she was younger and he was around more. I had photos of him still up in the house. Some say it was weird but he is her dad and that won't change. I don't want it to change. And I didn't want her to think he didn't love her, I knew he did despite his actions. I didn't want her to think I didn't love her father either. 

 "Do you want a drink or anything?" I asked him. "I'm good." His eyes were glued to the screen. "She's grown so much." He observed. "Yeah, 19 months now...She likes to play catch... And the sandpit is her favourite." I tell him. "Sandpit?" "I had one put in at the house we're staying at... Something for her to do." "You have a new place?" I nodded. "Couldn't live in the Wood's guest house forever."