Partners For Life [A Bensler FanFic]

Twenty-Eight

"Elliot, please calm down. I'm here to talk to you, not her. You are the one that sought out a therapist to talk about your troubles, not her. So please, just take a breath and we can continue." Dr. Taylor spoke as she looked Elliot over. She felt bad for him, especially since he thought he was the bad guy. That he was truly the reason his ex left him and their kids.

"I'm the bad guy, Doc. Nothing else to it. So I'm going. I have to get home to my girls." Elliot huffed. 

He stood and moved to the door, but he didn't open it. He just held onto the handle as tears flowed freely down his cheeks. All he wanted was to not feel so bad. To lose this guilty feeling that has been surrounding him since the moment Kathy decided to leave.

"Kathy gave up her rights to my children in the divorce. She told me that she didn't want to be tied down, and that she wanted space from us all. Kathy told me that she was tired of being a stay at home mom. But she made that choice. She said that when she got pregnant with our youngest that she didn't want to work anymore because she didn't want to miss out on all of Eli's firsts because she was working."

"Do you think she was bored?" Dr. Taylor asked as Elliot hesitantly moved back to his chair. He sank down onto it before brushing tears from his cheeks.

"Yeah, I do. I think she was tired of cooking and cleaning. I think she regretted her choice to quit being a nurse, because when she was home she didn't get out to do much." Elliot frowned.

"You didn't tell her to stay home, right?" 

"No, I didn't. I knew that she loved being a nurse, but having Eli was different. We hadn't had a kid since the twins, and they were seven when Kathy was pregnant with Eli. He was going to be our last, and Kathy didn't want to miss out on the last milestones."

"Like his first word and first steps?"

"Yeah." Elliot sighed.

"It sounds like she did it to herself." Dr. Taylor spoke softly. Elliot looked up from his hands before eyeing his therapist.

"What?"

"People usually blame others for their unhappiness, never themself. It is human nature to push the blame onto someone else. She was unhappy, so she told herself that it was your fault that she was unhappy. She used you as an excuse to leave, because you put her into a place that she actually put herself in." 

"I feel horrible still." Elliot whispered.

"And you will until you can accept that this wasn't your fault."

"Kathy is angry at me for proposing to Olivia, my fiancee... do you think we are moving too fast?"

"Did you propose only because you had gotten her pregnant? To make things right?" Dr. Taylor asked, as she wrote down some notes.

"No, I don't think so. I think I proposed because I love Olivia and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. We have known each other for so long, and she has been my best friend for more years than I can count."

"Why did you marry Kathy? Because you haven't described Kathy as you just did Olivia."

"We got married because she was pregnant with Maureen. We were both still teenagers, and Maureen was, technically, a mistake."

///

Elliot's appointment with Dr. Taylor went over by an hour. She had told her secretary to push all her other appointments by an hour, because she wanted to focus on Elliot for longer. By the end of the session, Elliot headed back home to his fiancee and daughter.

Olivia was outside with Tally when Elliot got home, and that made him feel a little better. He got to see his girls when he needed them the most.

"You were gone longer than expected." Olivia spoke from the porch swing. She was rocking her newborn back and forth as she tried to lull her back to sleep.

"Dr. Taylor gave me an extra hour. She said that I was having a surprise breakthrough and wanted to continue before I shut down and blocked her out." Elliot explained.

"What did you talk about?" Olivia asked nervously, because she wasn't sure Elliot would tell her.

"It doesn't matter, Liv. I don't want to burden you with everything I talked about today." Elliot replied. He leaned in close and kissed Olivia's lips softly before taking Tally into his arms.

"I'm going to be your wife eventually, so I should know what is going on with you. If you are having a hard time, you can lean on me." Olivia frowned.

"When do you wanna get married?" Elliot asked, changing the subject quickly.

"El-"

"Stop trying to dig into something you don't need to. So when the hell do you want to get married?" Elliot huffed.

Olivia took a slow breath before standing and walking to the front door.

"Getting married is looking less and less amazing. Did you just propose to me because you knocked me up? Because if you lied to me when you proposed, I will be pissed."

"Olivia!" Elliot yelled, which made Tally start to cry. He looked down at his daughter before frowning and passing her to Olivia.

"Are you not going to help out with her?" Olivia asked as she put her daughter to her shoulder and started to sway.

"I'm not going to be bitched at after I had a horrible morning. So deal with her yourself, and I'm going to go for a drive."

///

They managed a week without fighting, but that was it. When Olivia tried to get Elliot to talk to her, he just got angry and snapped. He was allowed to push her, but she wasn't allowed to push him. They weren't talking when the kids got home, and Maureen noticed quickly. She went into the basement and found her father looking through family pictures.

"So what was the fight about this time?" Maureen asked as she moved closer to her father.

"Nothing. Just leave it be." Elliot sighed.

"If it was nothing, you wouldn't be down here looking at pictures. Pictures of Kathy and us as a seemingly happy family."