Bring Me Home // Bucky Barnes

Chapter LXXV - Miss Halsted

Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed in one of the compounds spare rooms. She stared at nothing in particular as her mind strolled through days she had spent with her solider now that she had to spend this final night apart from him. She reminisced on the first night she spent wrapped in his arms and her heart soared. She thought about his fingers brushing gently down her spine as they lay whispering in the darkness. She giggled as she recalled Dugan's long, low whistle as they gave confessions to each other like secrets that bound them. She closed her eyes and brought the ghosts of kisses to her mind.

She could feel him grabbing hold of her and pulling her to his lips that day he returned broken and bruised. She could almost taste the desperation that clung to him as she finally got to hold him, to love him, in a crowd of hundreds. Her fingers brushed over the perfectly preserved notes sent back and forth for months, moments of their story wrapped together and bound by a simple ribbon, and tears began to well in her eyes. After all this time, after decades of lost memories, after fighting tooth and nail to bring him back to her, it was finally happening.

The gentle rap of knuckles on her door pulled her from her reverie and she turned to face her companion, standing silently by the door.

"Hey." She smiled softly and patted the bed. "Care to sit?"

Loki smiled a wide smile as he took a confident step towards her, making his way to her side and perching on the edge of the bed with her. The two sat in silence for a while, gazing out at the stars that shone brilliantly overhead and Elizabeth moved to rest her head against his shoulder. Loki stopped moving as the contact was made and Elizabeth sighed. It saddened her to think he was so unsure of kindness, even now.

"Why do you do that Loki?"

"Do what?"

Elizabeth pulled back and looked at him, taking one of his hands in her own as he looked to her.

"Fear kindness."

Loki scoffed as he rolled his eyes, pulling his hand from hers and pushing himself to his feet. He moved to the window quickly, bristling at the accusation and refused to look at her.

"I do not fear kindness Elizabeth." He stared out to the sky.

"But you question it,'' she stated.

Loki sighed. He could counter this observation; make this about her deep seated need to nurture those around her. He could belittle the idea and mock her empathetic nature. Or, he thought, he could be honest with her.

"My father was a good king Elizabeth. He was decisive and strong. He was compassionate towards his subjects and he was driven in his decisions. He was a good king. But good kings do not always make the kindest fathers." He felt her come to stand beside him but he did not look at her. "At least not towards little boys who spread chaos and mischief wherever they go."

"So now you reject it?"

Loki nodded slowly.

"I learnt a long time ago that when you push kindness away when you receive it, it hurts less when it is not given."

When Elizabeth reached for his hand, Loki didn't pull away. Instead he did something uncharacteristically gentle and almost human. He squeezed her hand.

"Loki?" Elizabeth glanced up to him and smiled a little when she saw him smirk.

"Elizabeth."

She chewed her lip before eventually speaking.

"Can I tell you something?"

Loki registered the slight shake to her voice; the way her pitch rose as she finished her question and the low volume that screamed of nerves, and he turned to her. His emerald eyes searched hers as she stared up at him and he nodded.