Subject B3 (newt x reader)

Chapter 50

A/N: sorry if the next chapter (chapter 51) is a bit late. I'm in the process of writing it now but I have a lot of school work to catch up on so it may be a few days late but hopefully it won't be! Anyway here's chapter 50, I hope you enjoy and thank you so so so much for the insane amount of reads so far!

"So how are you feeling?" I ask Newt, tracing my fingers along the boy's collarbone as we lie side by side on my cabin's bed. I have no idea what time it is now- it feels like a couple of hours have passed since I first came in here with Thomas- and not a single noise comes from anyone else's cabin which indicates that they're all asleep.

"I'm alright. Still pretty woozy. How are you?" He replies, his hand snaked around my waist as he gently rubs at my hip.

"Pretty exhausted." I exhale, "but I'm happy that you're alright."

"We should probably go to sleep soon." He replies, but I notice his eyes shift down to my bandaged up wound, and his mouth forms into a frown. "What happened to you?"

I don't reply for a few moments, pondering if I should tell him, but from my hesitation I can tell from his face falling that he knows what happened.

"Y/N, did I do that?" He says, shifting his doe brown eyes back up to mine, and they're clouded over with hurt.

"Newt, it wasn't you." I reassure the boy, "you were completely consumed by the Flare, so it wasn't your intentions behind it."

He concentrates on the wound again and nods stiffly, but I can tell he doesn't believe the excuse.

"Newt." I say softly, tilting his chin upwards so he looks at my face. "The fact that you don't remember this obviously shows how much the Flare consumed you and your mind. I could tell that it wasn't you; there wasn't any recognition of me whatsoever. Besides, the knife didn't go that deep. I kicked you off before you could do real damage."

"I'm so sorry." He whispers, gently running his fingers over the bandage. I lean forward and plant a kiss on the boy's forehead, taking hold of his hand and lacing my fingers through mine.

"Don't be." I say, "let's just get some sleep and forget about it. I'm running on about two hours on sleep right now."

I muzzle my deeper onto the pillow and gently close my eyes, exhaling loudly as I already feel myself drifting away.

"Were you actually going to stab yourself?" Newt whispers after moments of silence, and I snap my eyes open to see him staring intently at me.

"What?" I mumble in confusion, trying desperately not to let myself fall asleep.

"When you held the knife inches from your heart, saying you would kill yourself if I didn't drop the gun. Would you have actually done it."

My eyes widen. "You remember that?"

"That's like the only thing I vividly remember from the event." He replies. "Would you have done it?"

"Of course not." I smile weakly, and his face distorts into confusion. "It's called manipulation. I was trying to get the real you out for as long as possible so you wouldn't... try to hurt us again. But I would have never of done it, not when Minho was right around the corner with the Serum."

The boy nods and I smile gently at him, my eyelids becoming heavier by the second until I physically can't keep them open any longer.

"I love you, Y/N." I hear Newt whisper, but I can't tell if it's my subconscious saying it as I drift off or whether he's actually saying it.

Regardless of which it is, I gently squeeze his hand and pull it upwards so it's wrapped around my waist.

"I love you more." I mumble back, and with that, I finally slip into a well deserved sleep.