BTS Oneshots

Namgi- You Lose, Take a Shot

1,117 Words

Contents: FUNNY, but DARK humor jokes

If you laugh at a joke, you take a shot.

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"Namjoon-ah, let's play a game."

Namjoon looked up from Yoongi's bed. The other members were out, whether that was at HYBE or doing something fun with another member. Only Namjoon and Yoongi were at the dorm. Yoongi was working, but he got bored so he turned around in his chair.

"What game?" Namjoon asked, turning off his phone. "We tell jokes back and forth, and if you laugh at the other person's joke, you take a shot of alcohol." Yoongi smirked at his plan, snapping his fingers gently.

"A drinking game?" Namjoon smirked. "Yeah, why not?" Yoongi stood up, closing his laptop. He went in his closet and pulled out a bottle of Whiskey.

"Where did you get that from?" Namjoon sat up, confused. "Jungkook-ah." Yoongi laughed. "I don't drink much, Yoongi hyung." Namjoon sighed. "Oh well." Yoongi grabbed two decorative shot glasses. One of them was from Jungkook, and the other one was from Jimin. They both bought him one when they earned their first huge award and traded gifts- because, Yoongi had a strong liver and he took advantage of it.

"Come on." He set the glasses down on his desk and poured the alcohol into them. "Okay..." Namjoon sighed, smiling. Yoongi sat down in front of Namjoon. "I'll go first. Remember, if you laugh, you have to take a shot." He told him. "I get it, hyung." Namjoon smirked.

"What does a pregnant fourteen-year-old girl and the child growing inside her have in common?"

Namjoon was shocked, but he shrugged. "I don't know." He sighed out. "They're both thinking, 'oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me'."

Namjoon gasped and his eyes went big, while Yoongi burst out laughing. "HYUNG!" He was more shocked than anything. Yoongi watched carefully if Namjoon laughed, but he didn't. Yoongi pouted.

"Okay, since we're doing dark humor, I got one." Namjoon smirked. "Why did God make stairs to heaven?" He asked. "Oh God." Yoongi knew he was going to laugh. "So all the disabled people can go to hell."

"NAMJOON OH NO!"

Yoongi laughed hard, and made a weird noise which made Namjoon laugh too. "Take a shot!" Namjoon reached over and handed Yoongi his shot of Whiskey. Yoongi shook his head, he was laughing too hard to drink now.

A few seconds later he took the glass from Namjoon, drinking the liquid inside and refilling it. "Damn Namjoon, that was good." He laughed.

"Okay, what is worse than nineteen babies nailed to one tree?" Yoongi licked his lips, getting as much of the alcohol in him as he could. "That's horrible, nothing!" Namjoon's eyes went soft and sad. "One baby nailed to nineteen trees."

"Oh of course you would say something like that." Namjoon smirked, giggling a little. "Oh come on, that one's good!" Yoongi whined out. "It is good." Namjoon smirked, nodding at Yoongi before taking a shot.

"Your turn then." Yoongi huffed, crossing his arms. "Why can't the U.S. play Chess?" Namjoon asked, after awhile of tasting the alcohol. "I have no idea, but if this is a history fact, I'm gonna-" "Because they already lost two towers." Namjoon laughed at his own joke.

"THAT'S GOOD!" Yoongi burst out laughing. "Take the shot, hyung!" Namjoon laughed, pouring a shot of whiskey. Yoongi happily took the shot, quickly downing it.

"How do zombies travel west in America?" Namjoon asked, smirking. Yoongi shrugged, feeling the familiar buzz in his head from the alcohol. "They follow the organ trail." His leader laughed, smacking his own thigh. "I don't get it..." Yoongi shrugged again, trying to think through the alcohol. "A long time ago during slavery in the U.S. people would travel west because there were better jobs and stuff there, and it was called 'The Oregon Trail', because most people traveled to Oregon. It's a dark humor joke because most of the time people would die before reaching Oregon or the western place they were going, including children and animals. It's a joke because they died, and zombies eat brains." Namjoon explained.

"You lost me a long time ago." Yoongi laid down on his bed. "The joke is ruined now since you had to explain it." He sighed, closing his eyes. "Okay, fine, whatever." Namjoon hiccuped slightly at the end of his sentence. "Your tur-" "Hold on, let me feel this." Yoongi shushed him, turning his head. "Feel wha-" "I'm getting tipsy, sh." Yoongi smirked, giggling a little. Namjoon huffed but laughed nonetheless, shaking his head. "I am too, but this is fun so come on~" Namjoon hit Yoongi's thigh, making the elder sit up.

"A pregnant girl with triplets gets shot in the stomach. She goes to the hospital and such, gets surgery blah blah blah. She wakes up, and the doctor tells her: 'we've got good and bad news. The good news, the babies are fine and will live. The bad news, we cannot remove the bullet.'. She was told one day her kids would have to get it out by using the bathroom. So, a few years later, maybe ten or eleven," Namjoon took a shot, interested in the story. "Her youngest kid runs downstairs, screaming, 'momma!'. She asks what happened, and he says 'I was peeing and a bullet came out!'. So she told him the story and calmed him down. A month later, the middle child runs down, crying. Asking what happened, she is told he was having the bathroom and a bullet came out. Again, she tells him the story and all is well. About two months later, the eldest runs downstairs, face pale and eyes wide. The mother says, 'let me guess, you were peeing and a bullet came out?' She asks him. He says: 'No momma, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!'"

Namjoon went wide eyed and burst out laughing, immediately losing to Yoongi's joke.

Long story short, they were both drunk and tipsy and stupid by the time Jimin returned to the dorm, which had many questions that would have to wait for another day.