Dark Desire

Chapter Six

WOLFF

"Why do you want my virginity?" Were the first words Mariana uttered to me when I sat opposite to her at the dining table. Before I could gather the strength and the courage to answer, she opened her mouth again. "Well, I assume, of course, that you want sex. But why me? Why a virgin? Also, I find it hard to believe that you don't have a girlfriend who can save you from the trouble of paying random women to have sex with you."

I would have winced at her words if I hadn't already rehearsed this conversation in my head repeatedly.

With a sigh, I urged myself not to lose it when I said, "I can only touch virgins."

She arched a perfect brow. "Can? Or will you only touch virgins? Why?"

I was aware that I should have made her sign the NDA before engaging in this conversation with her but the urgency I sensed from her, her willingness to reach out to me, the unfamiliarity of it all, it knocked me senseless. No one apart from Axel had ever been curious or cared enough to ask.

"I've tried." My voice was low as I opened myself up to her. "I couldn't...go through with it."

"Why not?"

"I have nothing against non-virgins. I'm the problem. My mind—ah, think of it like an OCD but...with sex. I couldn't handle the thought of a woman being touched by another male before me. It would bother me too much. To the point that I would not be able to physically go through with it. My throat closes up, my chest tightens, and the never-ending images of them being fucked by other men would flash before my eyes until a migraine splits my head in half."

She was looking at me intently, listening to every word I said. Her palm curved against her mug, warming her fingertips, but she never lifted it up to her mouth. Her mouth. God. My fists were shaking against my lap. She was one reach away. If I just extended my arms, I could pull her and kiss her and—

"How many virgins have you paid to have sex with?"

I winced at the unintentional hit of her words. It wasn't an accusation. It was merely posed out of her curiosity but the words didn't make me feel less...filthy.

"I didn't always have to pay them." I explained as my gaze dropped to my restless knees bouncing up and down. I tried to stop it. "When I was young, it was easier. But after I turned 19, almost every girl was no longer..."

Mariana scrunched her face and mumbled, "Always in a rush."

"But you aren't," I blurted out before I could think. "Why?"

Mariana only watched me intently. It occurred to me how she was one of those people who had no trouble staring. Meanwhile, I was a coal waiting to combust if she looked at me any minute longer. I rested my gaze on my lap, realizing that somehow the restlessness of my leg only worsened.

"What makes you so sure I'm really a virgin?"

My head snapped up. Her beautiful face was void of playfulness.

"Well, I—I wouldn't know for sure unless..." I cleared my throat. "I mean, I witnessed your reaction firsthand when I offered you money in exchange for your virginity. That was enough to confirm it."

Color rose to her cheeks and embarrassingly, my cock twitched in reaction.

"Excuse me for being shocked, it wasn't every day that I get kidnapped, brought to a mansion, and be offered money for sex." She said with the slight curve of her lips. "It's true though. I am, unfortunately, a virgin."

I itched to ask why it was unfortunate but I was afraid the answer would struck me and once again make me feel like a villain—like how I assumed I had been for many women.

Mariana gulped her tea and ran her tongue down her lower lip. My eyes traced the movement until I could no longer take my eyes off her mouth. "How much will you pay if I agree to your proposition?"

Entranced, I muttered without thinking, "A thousand. Maybe more." Anything to get a taste. Anything.

My cock had turned painfully hard beneath my pants and I was biting my lip hard enough to draw blood, just so I wouldn't rub myself right in front of her. God, I wanted a release. I wanted it so badly.

When I opened my eyes, Mariana's mouth was no longer in my line of vision. She was heading towards the kitchen counter and my gaze landed on her silk tank top and shorts that were doing one hell of a job at accentuating her curves. My cock twitched. I stroked myself through my pants once and held back a groan. Fuck. I needed to get out of here.

"I'm heading back," I cleared my throat as I stood up sharply. "We'll continue this discussion tomorrow."

I didn't wait for her reply as I trudged up the stairs to my room. I was barely at the door when I fisted my cock and stroked as roughly as I could. By the time I landed on my bed, my heart was erratic and my vision was flooded by Mariana's pink lips, her ass in that goddamn silk shorts, and her smooth, smooth neck. I imagined groping her and yanking those shorts down her thigh until my hand could slip between her legs. I imagined what she'd feel like, her wetness, god, her tightness. I imagined the sounds she would make when I stick my fingers inside her. I wondered if she'd scream my name.

Fuuuuck.

I came within seconds. But it wasn't enough. I still felt empty. Unsatisfied. It didn't matter how good the orgasm was. I always wanted more.

And I did. For as many times as I could come until I could hardly breathe, until I was soaked in sweat and trembling from exhaustion. 

My arm limped from my side, I lifted the other to rake my damp hair. Jesus. If I could barely control myself just from the thought of her, how much more when she's actually in my arms, naked and so vulnerable?

I shut my eyes tight, a cold feeling spreading in my chest as realization slammed into me.

I couldn't touch Mariana. Not without breaking her. Not without ruining her.

I wouldn't be able to stop when she's bare beneath me. I wouldn't be able to control how hard I'd hold her or how fast I'd go. It wouldn't be—God, it wouldn't feel good for her. I would only hurt her.

It didn't make sense why I'd feel differently towards her, how after all the virgins I've slept with, the one I haven't yet touched feel the most special to me. I didn't care about the previous women who offered themselves to me willingly, didn't care enough to make the experience special to them. Granted, they had asked me not to hold back. But with Mariana...

I wanted to make it special for her. Knowing I couldn't, gutted me in a way I haven't felt before.

Mariana didn't belong here. She deserved someone who would love her and be gentle with her the first time.

At that moment, I've decided. I would let her go. I'd rather spend another maddening years without sex than risk hurting her.