𝑺𝑶𝑳𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑪𝑬 [𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑹𝒀 𝑷𝑶𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹/𝑻𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻]

𝐼 𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑁𝐾 𝐼'𝑉𝐸 𝑆𝐸𝐸𝑁 𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑆 𝐹𝐼𝐿𝑀 𝐵𝐸𝐹𝑂𝑅𝐸

Flashes of the scene moments before echoed throughout his mind; Tanya's screeches of pain, the blazing fire burning her to pieces, the screams of the humans attacking her...The small screams of protest...And him, doing nothing but watch it all happen.

A howl of pure rage ripped through the room, and for a second Edward thought the fight had somehow continued, that Tanya was alive...But as he gained some sense, he realized the sound was coming from him.

Closing his eyes, he tried to shut off all of the growing anger and resentment inside of him. He knew, somewhere inside, his body was probably reacting to the grief of seeing his oldest cousin murdered. But wherever that reaction was, it was so deep below the pain that it hadn't fully surfaced yet. He couldn't move and he had no idea how long he was sitting there for, or even no knowledge of where he was. It was as though his non-existent soul had truly left him drowning in grief and guilt.

Edward had no idea how a Vampire could feel everything and nothing all at once. For over a century he believed he was a soulless creature, destined to walk this earth alone until the end of time, only for him to damned at the end of it. And at that very moment, he knew he deserved everything he got at the end of his existence.

He was a coward.

A helpless coward who did nothing to save his cousin. He could have pleaded with her, fought her, anything to help her get away--! But he did nothing.

He froze.

And now his cousin was dead.

Though he felt himself come to a pause, resurfacing as he felt a warm hand running itself through his hair. He allowed this soothing pressure on his head without really thinking about it, blindly letting this soft hand guide him back to reality. As the warm soft hand went back and forth, he felt as though he was in heaven, wondering if there truly was a place there for someone without a soul.

Edward focused on the human woman's touch, realizing a millisecond later by the scent of the woman he loved that it was her who was holding and comforting him. He felt disgusted with himself as he knew he was not worthy to be held in the way he was being held. He was a coward...

"I'm so sorry Edward" Gwen continued to mumble, her soft words breathing life back into him as she held him.

He felt disgusted with himself, he had no reason to be comforted in this way...It was his fault. All of his fault this happened. He could have done anything...Anything at all. He should have gone to save Tanya, even if it would have cost him his life.

Gwen ran her hand through his hair, as he closed his eyes and felt more alive than ever.

"It wasn't your fault, none of this. It wasn't your fault" her words soothed him, surprising him once more than she knew what was going on in his head.

"I could have stopped it..." Edward managed to choke out.

"They would have killed you" Gwen replied darkly, as she continued to run her hand through his hair.

Edward stayed silent, "I could have done something...Anything. But I didn't. I didn't do anything..."

"If you would have gone, I would have followed you" Gwen answered, as Edward's guilt continued. He wished she didn't try to make him feel better. He wasn't worth it.

"And when I would've followed you, I would've been in danger" Gwen continued, as she let go of his hair and made him look her in the eye. "I am so sorry about your friend."

Edward felt a sob escape him once more, thinking of Tanya...Of the perfect strawberry-blond vampire that did not deserve this. It was all his fault. He brought this onto them. His cousins were there because of him...It should have been him.