John, Peter and Rose

Chapter Twenty Three

How could you?

John froze. He knows that voice. He hears that voice every day, but it couldn't be. He couldn't have already caught them. How would he of known where they were? John hasn't shown this place to anybody including Peter. Unless if he were to have followed them but he didn't realize that they were being followed. This is all impossible. It must just be in his head. He's obviously paranoid and is just imagining things that aren't there but if the voice wasn't actually there why did Rose hear it too. He watches as Rose turns around and gasps. There's not denying it anymore they have been caught and so John slowly lifts up his head and looks into Peter's eyes. He sees betrayal, sadness, anger, disappointment. He sees a multitude of emotions swimming together and fighting to come out. He sees Peter not being sure which one to led out. Should he be sad? Should he be angry? He wasn't sure. John completely understood as he was feeling the same thing. Should he be sad for being caught? Should he be angered in himself for not being more careful while meeting with Rose? Should he feel guilty for what he did to his friend? He wasn't quit sure what to feel, but he knew that he needed to say something, anything in order to save his friendship which seems to already be lost.

So, John stood up and walked towards Peter trying to come up with the best thing to say, but he just couldn't. He knew there were no excuses for what he did. He could barely forgive himself for it. If he couldn't forgive himself how could he expect Peter to forgive him?

I'm so sorry Peter.

You're sorry? That's all you have to say.

I don't know what else to say. I know what I did was wrong.

Wrong? What you did was way worst than wrong. You listened to me yesterday pour my heart out about how betrayed I felt about her lying and all along you were in on it. You knew she had been lying for weeks and not only did you not say anything but you decided to lie to me too.

I'm sorry.

How long has this been going on? Why would you even date her?

I didn't want to. It was an accident.

You don't just accidentally date someone, John.

I liked her from the beginning, but you asked her out first and so I tried to respect that but I couldn't stop thinking about her. So, I decided to go to the diner every day and try to find something wrong with her. Something to make me hate her.

That's the most stupid plan I've ever heard.

Well, I've never been as smart as you. Of course it didn't work. She didn't have any flaws. Eventually, I asked her on a date. I didn't mean too, but it just came out.

Why didn't you just tell me? I would've understood.

I was scared that you would've been mad at me for stealing your girl.

So, you decided to lie to me for weeks instead. Obviously I'm going to be more mad if I have to figure it out instead of you telling me. And what did you expect to happen? You keep it a secret for a few days sure but did you plan to keep it a secret forever? What about when you want to further your relationship, get married, have kids. How would you want that to happen without me finding out? We live together.

I know it was stupid, but we weren't really thinking of the future we were just enjoying the present.

Right, you were enjoying the present where you were continuously lying to me about dating the girl that I loved and pretended to not know that she's been leading me on. You continuously lied to me while knowing that she was wasting my time and money.

I feel guilty Peter. You have to understand how much I hate myself for it.

I can't believe you would betray me like that. After, everything that I've done for you. You would be nothing without me. If you were lucky, you would've died during the war. If by some odd chance that you would of survived you would've been just another homeless man.

I know, and I'm so grateful for everything that you've done for me, truly.

You've done a great way of showing it.

How many times do I need to apologize? I'm sorry. I should've told you.

I'm going to my parents house and when I get back tomorrow morning you and all your stuff better be gone.

Peter please.

John watched as Peter left. He knew all along that this would happen. He couldn't date Rose and expect Peter to just go along with it but deep down he just hoped that he would've been understanding. That he would've simply been happy for him for finding the love of his life and forget about all of the bad that John has done to him in the past few weeks. Of course, he knew it was a silly fairy tale that he made up to feel better, but he couldn't help hoping that it would become reality.

He didn't know where to go from here. His life revolved around Peter. Not just in the financial sense that he lived in his house, used his car and needed his money to survive but he couldn't imagine a life without him. He always imagined growing old with Peter, going through all the stages of life together. They would be the best man at each other's weddings and their children's godfathers. Their wives would become best friends so they could have double dates every week. They would have their children meet up at least once a week for playdates where they would grow up to be just as close to each other as John and Peter. He didn't know where to go from this but right now he didn't care enough to figure it out. All he wanted to do was cry into Rose's shoulder and so that's what he did.