Everything Changes

Chapter 26: Bad Decisions, Good Intentions?

                                                                               Aria's P.O.V

              "Please stay with me?" Did I really say that? I buried my head into my pillow before letting out a tiny scream. Why do I embarrass myself this way? I just didn't want him to leave. It's nice having him here. At least I didn't embarrass myself further.

            I removed the pillow from my head and looked at my alarm clock. It was 4 A.M. It looks like 5 hours of sleep was all I was going to get. Man, I'm really thirsty. I just have to sneak downstairs and not wake Ryder. I can do this.

           I reached the top of the staircase and started to make my descent. I paused and held my breath at every creek the stairs made under my feet. He's going to wake up! Once I reached the bottom step and let out the breath I was holding out. I headed towards the living room just to peek and make sure he didn't wake up.

          Thankfully he didn't. Not going to lie, he looked cute when he was asleep. He had one leg hanging off the couch with the blanket twisted around him.

          Before I turned around I noticed something on the floor. A piece of paper? Don't do it Aria, don't be nosey. Screw it. Tip-toeing towards him so that I didn't wake him. I had to go around his leg which was tricky but the mission was successful. Now to see what the mystery object was.

         Flipping the object over I noticed it was a picture. It looked like it was taken a few years ago. I recognized Ryder, Derek, and Erik who were all doing this weird thing with their faces but there was a fourth person in the picture that I didn't recognize. It was a girl and Ryder had his arm around her shoulder as she looked up at him with a smile on her face.

         She was really pretty. With hair almost as white as snow. Her smile made her green eyes sparkle and even from the photo I can see she looked truly happy to have Ryder by her side. Why did I just get a jolt of small pain in my heart? Was I jealous? Were they together? And last but not least was she the girl that he kept mentioning?

        I flipped over the picture to see if they had written their names on the back. Clearly I hadn't missed any names the first time I looked at it. Who was this girl? Does Ryder love her since he keeps her picture so close to him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ryder start to turn over. I dropped the picture and rushed back upstairs leaving my original reason for coming down here in the back of my mind.

         My bed never felt so safe yet so lonely. This pain in my heart shouldn't be there. Ryder is my friend. Ryder has become one of my best friends. Nothing more. Nothing less. Right? I couldn't possibly be in love with him right?

        Is this what that feeling was? It's completely different from the way I felt about Zack when I was in love with him. Plus I wasn't completely over Zack was I? All these questions were making me dizzy and getting my heart broken even more was not something I was ready for. Ignoring these feelings is for the best.

        Ryder can never know. I can't lose him. Telling him that I may possibly like him or something? Just isn't worth the risk. So now I just have to act completely normal around him and pretend I never saw the picture that he carries around with him. Of some girl. Someone he could have possibly loved...or loves. Past or present.

        My life was getting more and more complicated. The pain in my heart is growing more and more everyday. Though this was what I deserved, wasn't it? My punishment... my karma. To never be happy. To never be loved since I caused someone close to me to lose the one they loved?