Across The Street

[5] empty eyes

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"I'm scared to get close..."
Can You Feel My Heart - Bring Me The Horizon

[5] empty eyes

"You know I don't want to go just yet, why don't we just hang out?" Clarity, still seated in the passenger seat, suggested.

"With me? Why?" I didn't see why she'd ever want to hang with me. All she needed from me was a ride, I didn't think she'd want to actually hang out with me voluntarily. Not that I was complaining the slightest bit though. Even though I was surprised that she would want to hang with me-her choosing to be herself - when I was just a highschool boy with only two friends. Mia, a girl who was in love with my other best friend, Flynn, and he was oblivious to it all.

"Because," her eyes looked at the places we past. The other cars, trees, buildings, and people. "You seem cool enough. And plus, I'm kinda lonely as of right now, so I need you to keep me company." I didn't put myself under the category cool or needed when it came to her. But if she did think I was cool, I guess I was in her little list. But to other people besides Mia and Flynn? Ha, no one else. See, in my school, I was completely and utterly an outcast, besides with my two friends. Which, they are barely in my classes from before. So, I mostly kept to myself and people stayed clear away from me.

Ever since Middle School, I had wondered exactly what made people stay clear away from me. Was it my voice? Complexion? Personality? I'd thought about it for hours and hours at night which caused bags under my eyes. I didn't get bullied, I just stayed clear of everyone.

Just no one noticed me besides Mia and Flynn. But, now I was finally, finally noticed by Clairty. And it sure did feel good.

"Okay, we can hang out. Where would you like to go?" I ask her, my voice trying to stay level despite the increased nerves coursing through my body.

"I'm still trying to figure that out myself." She muttered quietly, still looking out the window.

"By the way, how old are you?" I asked, remembering I didn't know this girl much. Except for her name and her criminal record - well, she could've done other things that eventually involved the police that I didn't know of, but I knew of the alcohol.

"Age is just a number, baby." She drawled. Then she chuckled once I shot her a look. "Okay, okay. I'm nineteen. You?"

"Eighteen."

"Ohh," she raised her dark eyebrows at me, I looked back at the road to avoid her amused look and to make sure we don't wreck. "A younger guy. Nice."

I ran a hand through my hair, furrowing my eyebrows together. "What's that supposed to mean, Clarity Stevens?"

"Just that you, Nolan Livingston, look older than you are. I thought you were at least older than me. But with you being a younger guy is not a problem for me," then she added, "Not that we are really even friends, but still." Or anything other than that, I finished off in my head as we lapsed into silence. Just our breathing and the hushed lyrics on the radio. Clarity had turned the volume down while we chatted and it stayed that way.

She let out a relaxed sigh as she kept her head turned aways from me as she gazed out the window. Clarity laid her head down on the window. At first, I thought she was going to go to sleep, but then I noticed that her eyes were open and staring ahead.

"We should go there." Clarity said suddenly, pointing towards a small, nice donut shop as stopped at a stop sign after a while of driving around aimlessly, "They sell amazing donuts, Nolan. Have you ever been there?" And when I shook my head, she groaned. "You're missing out, seriously! We have to go there now."

"Am I paying?" I asked as I pulled in their little parking lot to please her without protesting. She seemed so eager for me to try some donuts that I didn't want to make her unsatisfied.

"Sadly, yes." She smiled and I didn't bother to fight the wave of feelings that surged within me, the smile made me dazed for a few minute. "But I'll pay you back next time."

Next time.

"O-Okay." I stuttered out, clumsily opening the door and getting out.

We walked in inside. The store wasn't that big. One of the workers stood behind a long counter, his tan skin contrasting against his white work shirt. His expression held boredom and exhaustion. "Welcome," he drawled out, mumbling it almost and caught eyes with us both before looking back to the floor.

Clarity, eyes searching around the store, walked around with me following. "You know," she said, voice soft. She always talked like she was reading a favorite book or poem, with grace and care. "I am so tired of this."

"Well," I shrugged, taken back. "We can just leave the store then, if you want."

She sighed, her gray eyes meeting mine, she suddenly looked really unhappy. "Not at the donut shop. I mean, here. Just everything, ever feel like that, huh?" Clarity shook her head, looking like she was trying to shake the thoughts away. "I don't even know why I am telling you this."

I managed a shrug while under her stare. "I mean, everyone does, right? Like, feel tired of everything and/or everyone."

"Yes people do," her smile was a bit bitter, it faltering a bit. "But most people don't feel like that all the time." Her eyes - she never looked at me long enough to try to read them, I noticed. Her hair fell to cover up her face and I moved a little so I could try to see her eyes,

"Do you feel like that?" Finally, she looked over at me. Eyes to eyes. For a full minute and I took the advantage to try to read her eyes. They were a simple, piercing gray that made me breathless. They were so consuming, drawing you in before casting you out. Those eyes - they looked dark within, while the outer was a light gray. They were the prettiest eyes I've ever seen.

Those gray eyes looked - almost - shielded, but an emotion crossed her face. If I'm correct, it might've been sadness. Her eyes showed it completely, yet they hardened up. Overall, her eyes looked hollow, empty. She forced a smile. "Let's go get some donuts, yeah?" She avoided my question, lips turning up into a huge smile. Nonetheless, it was a fake smile. I've seen her real smile.

And now I've just witnessed her fake one.

But I decided not to press her, if she didn't want to tell me, she didn't have to. And I wasn't going to force her to tell me anything.