Finding Iero (My Chemical Romance/Frank Iero Love story)

Chapter 18 - Truth

Not based on true events

Franks POV

I woke up the next morning with an absolute splitting headache, I don't think I've ever had such a bad hangover. I can't really remember much of last night only really arriving at the bar..

Natalie isn't making eye contact with me this morning, what's going on this morning? Everybody is giving me the worst looks or even worse not looking at me, Gee hasn't left her side since I came out of the bunk room a earlier, like I know I've been a complete asshole towards her and the guys recently but I can't tell her or them about my brother.

My amazing little brother. Dead. Killed by a drunk driver. How am I meant to explain that? I physically couldn't bring myself to do that to them. I don't want the pity.

I know Gerard hates my guts and so does Natalie probably. But I can't be around anybody at the moment and nobody is respecting that, though to them there isn't a reason to give me space so no wonder they are always on at me. I know they have no clue or anything but they should really start taking hints more.

And everything with Natalie? Well that's a long story. I love her and when I say love I mean I'm completely head over heels in love with her, I know that for sure but she's so pushy about wanting to know what's wrong and its slowly driving me insane, I know she's only doing it because she cares but after saying "don't worry" or "it's nothing" a couple of times she'd stop caring, but that's the problem she's so caring she'd never stop asking. It's not always because she's asking either, ots driving me insane because I can't tell her anything, I know she'd pity me and pester me with apologies and how its going to be okay, but no its not going to "be okay" it's anything but okay, he was on his way to see me when the drunk driver hit his motor bike, even all of the safety gear he would wear couldn't save him this time - he flew off of his bike at 70mph on a highway, the police and paramedics said he wouldn't of stood a chance.

I've always been one to bottle everything up and that isn't about to change now, even over something as serious as this. I had to go missing a week ago so I could go to his funeral and seeing as we were in New Jersey at the time it seemed pretty easy. But Gee got so mad and refused to talk to me after that he'd said I'd let our NJ fans down that had supported us from the start and that I'm fucking up the band completely, saying I was ending what had hardly even begun, but I honestly can't cope with being in a band at the moment or that I even want to be in this band at all anymore. My mind is all over the place, there's no other way to describe it.

I just need to leave for a while and not be around anyone at all. Just alone.