Finding Iero (My Chemical Romance/Frank Iero Love story)

Chapter 4 - Bill

A/N TRIGGER WARNING
There is scenes of rape and physical abuse in this chapter if honestly not comfortable please so not read I haven't wrote this to intentionally hurt anybody

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It was a quiet walk home in the dark, my ipod ran out of battery when I left starbucks, great. It was also pitch black I had to walk up streets with absolutely no street lamps or anything. It was actually pretty scary. Due to the rain earlier in the day and the hole in my shoe all I can now hear is the gross sound of my wet sock but it was a little bit comforting in this situation.
When I finally reached home I saw a light on, in which I definitely remember not leaving a light not which only means one thing... He was home. How am I meant to get back in now! Oh my god, this is going to be very bad. What if he’s already gone up to my room and seen that I’m not there? He would be fuming, raging even.
I managed to get to the house without passing out in fear. I saw he was at his desk in his study which is good, he had his back to the door, so if I manage to get in quietly enough then he will never know I’ve even been out.
I got my keys out of my jean pocket and as quietly as I possibly could put them into the lock in the door, I managed to get it open without it making a noise, As I closed it I heard a shuffle in that room and I was almost running, and then I saw the light from his study out onto the stair carpet, he was watching me.
“Oi you! What are you doing out of your fucking room!” He was angry, and drunk, he was slurring his words, that’s not a good sign.
“Bill! I’m so happy to see you! I didn’t hear you come in” I had to try and act all as if I have complete respect for him  otherwise I was defiantly going to get it “I was just bringing a drinking glass down to put in the dish washer”
“I came home early, The business trip got cancelled” He said still slurring his words, he was swaying slightly
“Oh that’ s such a shame!” I can’t believe this, he had to come home now. His face was quite calm and then a suddenly angered expression crossed it
“Why do you have your coat on in the house! And your shoes! HOW DARE YOU! YOU’VE BEEN OUT HAVEN’T YOU!” He was over next to me within seconds, 3 strides, his vicious hands struck my face like venom, The stinging started from the bruises I already had. He grabbed a handful of my hair and dragged me through to the kitchen “WHERE IS THIS DRINKING GLASS YOU BROUGHT DOWN?”
“B-Bill, I-m s-s-s-sorry” The tears were free running down my face and the stuttering was only going to make him angrier
“How dare you go out without my permission!” He yelled into my face, little droplets of spit hitting me at the same time
“I d-di-didn’t kno-know that y-y-you were g-going to b-b-b-be h-home” I wailed, I could already see this ending very badly, He was still tugging at my hair and the roots were starting to feel too much pressure and pull out, it was agony
Suddenly he picked me up with such a force and dumped me down on the dinner table I didn't dare try and run or leave bed only catch me and make this whole situation worse, before I could even protest started to undress me with such a force that I could feel threads of my clothes starting to tear, once I was completely naked he started to undress himself, whilst still touching me all over with his massive and disgusting hands. I think I drifted in and out of consciousness a couple of times due to the shock and pain he was causing me, but then I woke up and he was on top of me, moaning into my neck whilst all I could do was let silent tears run down my cheeks. I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even breathe. He started to slow and was puffing very heavily; suddenly I felt a massive gush of hot liquid and before I know it he was finished. It was only then I relised what he had done, but I stayed silent anyway still in too much shock to move. He must have thought I was still unconscious and I suddenly felt something very sharp tearing into the skin of my arms and legs, it was unbearable. My eyes shot open and I screamed, he laughed at my pain and carried on, suddenly the sharp object was tearing into my stomach, the pain making me want to cry out and scream but before he'd even finished what he was doing to my skin everything went black.

I woke up in my bedroom floor, absolutely no clue what the time is or how long I'd been there. I can’t believe what just happened. I let him do it to me again.  I’m such a weak person. I started crying then, laying naked on my bedroom floor, I have no idea what he has done with my clothes,they were probably beyond the point of being fixable and got throw away. When I mustered up enough strength I started to scrape myself off of my floor, it hurt to move and I also noticed parts of my body were sticky, only when I got to the bathroom did I understand why, my arms, legs, stomach were all covered in dry, brown, crispy blood. I could also see bruises started to come up on my neck and arms.
I need a shower, to get this blood off of me. I turned on the shower and went to get a towel out of my cupboard, I had a quick look to see if my door was locked and it was. I went back to the shower and stepped inside. The heat felt amazing on my skin, but then it burned the fresh cuts and bruises on my skin, I was trying not to cry again. I looked down to see how the cuts were looking and saw the water that was sloshing around my feet was flowing red. My head was spinning, I hate blood as it was but now I could literally smell it and I was starting to feel physically sick. I started to lather the shower gel over my body, trying desperately to ignore the intense burning pain of the cuts but luckily the shower gel managed to get rid of the rusty horrible smell. But I needed to wash myself again not to get rid of the smell or even the actual blood but to get any trace of that disgusting man off of my body, I can't stand the thought of having anything to do with him left on me.
As soon as I was done in the shower I was about to get changed when I saw my stomach in the mirror for the first time and realise what he wrote, a gasp  left my mouth when I saw the words in my own skin it said “SATAN FOLLOWER” That bastard carved the words satan follower into my skin. I quickly put a tee shirt on so that I don’t have to look at my horrific cuts any longer and knowing that was going to scar, but not as much as the mental images of everything has and will continue to scar me for the rest of my life. I quickly moved across my room and  flopped down onto my bed as carefully as I could trying to avoid any unnecessary pain and stared at my ceiling, silently dreaming of the day I get to leave this hell hole I call home.