It made his entire skin itch.
Being with anyone at the moment felt entirely wrong.
Everything felt wrong since that day he had last seen Kade.
But he wasn't going to say anything.
Nobody would take him seriously anyway.
They would just say, oh you'll get over it, or it's not a big deal.
But to Calico, it was a big deal.
He made the one person in the world who he wanted to be completely devoted to- hate him so much that he left him. By opening his stupid mouth.
He shouldn't have told Kade everything at once. He should've given him more time to process things. Maybe then Kade would've taken things a little better. And maybe if he hadn't said those awful words about sleeping with Aaron to his face, maybe they could have remained friends at least.
He had a little scare the other day, when he caught sight of Kade sitting under a bridge half asleep it seemed.
He had sent his cat over to Kade to comfort him, because he didn't think that he would be of any help to Kade with what he needed right then.
What he didn't expect was for Kade to straight up take the cat to wherever he lived currently.
He had looked so tired, so beaten, so lonely, Calico only felt the weight in his chest grow worse knowing Kade's emotions were so screwed up at the moment.
He didn't know what to do.
And messing around with Derek hasn't been helping anything.
Sure Calico had done his fair share of messing around with people without attachments to them, but when it came to the situation at hand, messing with Derek felt wrong.
Anytime the two were even near each other, Calico felt like he couldn't fully be himself. He felt like if he did, he would make Derek dislike him in someway and would break off the engagement.
Not that he would be opposed to doing so- but at the moment- that would mean Calico would've lost Kade for nothing.
Plus it would mean disappointing his father, and that was the last thing anyone in their right mind would do when their father ran a gang and had a track record of killing people who were of inconvenience to him.
Calico's mind ran so rampant it was difficult for him to ever think properly most days.
On said days, he would often be seen, or heard, driving through town in the middle of the night, listening to LoFi songs that people would often use to go to sleep too.
One night in particular, Calico decided a walk through the park would be better than a drive, and stepped out of his car, almost to get run down by a motorcycle blaring some sort of emo music about blood on my hands if Calico was hearing properly.
He shouldn't have been surprised to see Kade stepping off that motorcycle, not even batting Calico an eye.
He must've not even seen him to begin with, but Calico was almost mesmerized just watching Kade pull his helmet off, shake his head so his hair would fall into place, and slip inside a restaurant.
It was the fact Kade didn't even have to do anything to get Calico this fixated that had Calico panicking more than before.
If it was so easy for him to be like that towards Kade, then why was it so hard for him to try to actually fix things with him in the first place?
Calico knew why.
His fear of rejection was difficult to ignore.
He didn't want Kade to turn him down a second time. If this is how Kade acted after one attempt, then a second would be catastrophic.
So Calico ran.
He ran away from the damned restaurant.
He popped in his earbuds, simply trying to tune out everything around him except for the flickering of the streetlamps, the noises of the cars, the dripping water from the recent rain, and the heavy footfalls that were directly behind him following at a rather quick pace.
