Her frozen heart...

c h a p t e r 21 🌊

Jaydens POV:

Marco and I just got back in the car after Jai asked us to get some of Jordan's things.

"Are we going?" Marco asks me after a minute of just sitting there, and before I even know what's happening I'm breaking down in the drivers seat in front of my son.

"I'm so sorry" I say to Marco but my voice breaks half way through, and he just shakes his head before leaning over the seat and giving me the best hug he can

"I know, but there's nothing we can do now. We can only try to help her" he says to me and I nod before trying to calm down.

I'm such a baby, I'm not meant to cry. I cant.

"Ok enough of this, we need to get her phone and whatever else we can find" Marco says again before pulling away and straitening out his shirt as he always does.

Wanting all the feeling stuff to end I turn the car on before leaving the parking lot and driving down the roads to the house, no matter what Marco says or anyone for that matter this is my fault. She's in the spot because of me, she's doing drugs and drinking and god knows what else because of the shit I put her through. This is my doing, no one else's.

I think that me and her going to see Gracie is a good thing but I think she has to see Gracie on her own as well, and whatever gets said between them is their business not mine.

To busy in my own thoughts I don't even realize we are home until Marco shuts his door after he gets out, quickly getting my shit together I get out as well before going inside and heading to Jordan's room. I don't bother checking if the other kids are awake because I know they wont be as its only just hitting 6 in the morning, plus its the weekend so none of them will be up until at least 8, well Callie will be up about them. The boys wont want to get up until 10 maybe 11 but Callie will drag them out to play.

When we get to Jordan's room it shocks me, her room has changed to what it was like when she first got here. Its not bad, just different. Like now she has a million different tapestry's up on her walls and ceiling, as well as other posters and stickers and all the rest of it. On one of her walls and on the back of her door she has painted on it with spray paint, like on her door she has painted a weed leaf and playboy bunny then in red paint is written 666 as well as a bunch of other stuff all done in black and red paint. Its still very much her vibe and all of that, just caught me off guard.

How I haven't seen it until now I don't know, because I have been in here a very little amount since she got back, I guess I just never noticed it. To be fair every time I came in here there was a reason behind it, and my focus wasn't what was on her walls and door it was her.

"I think Blake would like this" Marco says pointing to her door where most of the spray painted stuff is

"Yeah I think so" I say back to him while chuckling and staring at her door

She's changed a lot since we got her back from the American fucks. And obviously we knew something was going to change in her but for some stupid reason I don't think we though it would be quite like this. It makes me wonder if anything has happened in the past year since because its like she has gotten more out there and like the partying is more and the drugs is more. But maybe nothing has happened and she just likes it, likes the rush of it all.

"Come on lets just get some of her stuff" I say to Marco and he nods before grabbing a random bag in the corner and going over to her desk to find whatever it is. While he does that I go into her closet and pick out a simple hoodie and pair of sweats for when she wants to change. When I have her clothes as well as a toothbrush and hair brush and all that kind of stuff I go back into her room to find Marco putting her laptop into the bag as well as her charger and her phone is on the bed next to him with air pods and the phone charger.