Marco and Jai just left and now its me and dad, before they left though Marco had leaned down and whispered that he misses me and wants me to listen to whatever it is dad is going to say. And not missing a beat as soon as the door shut dad was moving to the end of the bed and speaking.
"Jordan, please we need to talk" he says to me but I don't bother looking up I just nod my head once.
"I'm trying, I'm trying so hard to give you the space you clearly want and need. And I know that you are really angry with me and all the others and you have every right to be, but can you please think about how we might be doing in all of this. A parent isn't meant to out live his kids, but I'm terrified that any day now I'm going to get a call saying that you have died. When I got that call today saying that you were brought in here and that they didn't know what was happening I felt my heart sink and then when we got here and they told us it was an overdose my heart stopped" he tells me before stopping and when I look up he is already looking at me and has a single tear falling down his cheeks. I open my mouth but close it again as I don't know what to say
"I didn't mean to end up here" I end up saying to him finally deciding that's what I should say; mainly because I didn't have anything else.
"I know baby, I know you didn't mean to but you did. You could've died" he says to me and I look at him before my eyes drift off and I just stare blankly at the wall before just shrugging my shoulders
"No don't do that" he says to me while moving closer and grabbing onto my hand but I don't move my gaze from the wall, now wanting this conversation to be over. I know I'm heartless blah blah blah.
"Do what?" I exclaim out in a breathily tone.
"This, turn everything off and tune out of what's going on around you" he tells me, and so what if I do do that; if anything its a coping mechanism a way to protect myself from other fruit loops out there. And then something clicks in my brain as I look back over to my dear mafia leader of a father and I decide that I'm going to be 80% honest about what's going on in my tiny little brain.
"I don't care, I don't care anymore" is all I say to him and I can see him take in a breath before speaking
"What do you mean baby, care about what?" he asks me holding my hand a bit tighter, and I just shake my head and lift my shoulders before dropping them
"About anything, unless I'm high I don't feel anything. But its nice not feeling things it just means that no one can hurt me again. Not you, not the boys, not Connor; no one can do anything to hurt me now. I'm just numb to everything" I say to him which is all the truth. I don't really know why I'm telling him what I feel, or lack there of; but maybe like I said I just don't care anymore.
"That's ok, we can get you help. Maybe you could see Gracie by yourself and talk to her as well without me in the room if that makes it easier" he tells me and I just nods my head, I don't necessarily have a problem with Gracie I guess she's alright.
"Yeah I guess, dad I'm addicted to drugs" I say to him looking him in the eye again, I think this is the first time I have called him dad without having a tone behind it
"That's ok, we can get you the help to stop doing them" he tells me and I nod at him and the next thing I know I have tears falling as well and we are crying together
"Am I like mum?" I ask him out of nowhere and you can see the shock on his face when I ask and straight away he shakes his head
"No baby, you are nothing like your mother. Your mum was a selfish women who didn't care about anyone or anything. When she started using it was to get back at her mum, when you started taking different drugs you had your reasons; but she didn't" he tells me and I just stare at him as more tears fall and he puts his hands on my face and wipes them away
YOU ARE READING
Her frozen heart...
Teen FictionIts been almost a year since the whole thing happened with Jordan, almost a year since anyone heard anything from Ash. A lot can happen in a year, so what if she has moved on; or at least trying? Dealing with her issues in the only way she knows ho...
