Fish Lips 2 (Loki x Reader) (Soulmate AU)

Chapter 25

"Just in time..." I pant and lean on the elevator wall. Now, was he going to be angry that I called his brother hot, that I lied to him, or that he made a fool of himself at dinner?

I mean it wasn't that bad ? Because of me Natasha and Clint even got a bit comfortable around him. Everyone warmed up and I bet he enjoyed the attention going to him.

*ding!*

My thoughts come to an end as I wait for the door to open so I could bolt and lock myself in my room.

"Took you long enough..." the voice I was dreading the most says. My lips twitch into a nervous smile, hoping Loki wouldn't be too mad.

"How uh? Wait, how did you get here so fast?" I question, now curious. The lounge room and bed rooms were like 4 floors apart.

"I have my ways," Loki mutters, uninterested in the topic. The door makes another noise to close the doors but remains open as Loki slams his hand onto it.

"Out."

I sigh but do as told, "I guess I had this coming..." I grumble. Loki grabs my arm and drags me to my room, making sure to hit the lock button when it closes.

'Heimdal if you manage you get me, and only me, out with the Bifrost I'll give you Fury's private jet,' I silently beg. No response....

I sit down on my bed as Loki paces around, waiting to be lectured about how sick and tired he is of me calling his brother hot. For a bit I just follow his moving figure, the piercing silence making the already hard to breathe atmosphere heavy.

"Aren't you going to say something?" I finally ask. I guess it'd be better to get this over with.

"Say what? What should I even speak about? You knowingly lying to me? Turning me into some jester because I don't understand your Midgardian slang? Or leaving our sweet moment on Asgard for...whatever that was?" He lists, referring to dinner itself at the end.

"For a moment everything seemed so perfect," Loki continues his aggravated tone now softer, "and both my mind and heart were at ease...but you broke it to tell the others my brother is the subject of some sonnet; don't think I did not notice why you wanted to leave Asgard in the first place...tch covering up by saying you want to tell them I was the author of those works. Sometimes I wonder if your sou-...forget it," he huffs and sits down on the far edge of the bed in front of the window.

Loki cut himself off but I knew what he was trying to say. Considering his low self confidence and tendency to be insecure about the men around me; I'd take a wild guess that he was going to say 'if your soulmate is Thor, not me' or something along those lines.

I bite my lip and fix my eyes on the white laminate floor. This time it's truly my fault...in a way I was kind of doing what Odin does; diminishes Loki to acknowledge Thor.

'Imagine having to live your entire life in a shadow and in the end the person that's supposed to be your soulmate leaves you for the light..' I think to myself.

On the other side of the bed Loki was deathly quiet. I turn my head to see him staring out the window, lost in thought as his sorrowful eyes fixated into the dark abyss of the night.

I turn back around and take in a quick, small breath as a thought hits me; I always reassure him that he has nothing to fear and no reason to be jealous when I've done nothing to prove it...it's clear he feels that way because of certain things I've done but all I basically do is say "don't think those stupid thoughts! Why would you even think that? Pshhh haha now lemme go unintentionally flirt with your brother."

Of course the others would realize that I'm just joking but Loki is a completely different situation; his insecurities exist because of everyone glorifying Thor while he's casted aside.

"You stupid fuck..." I mumble as I press the base of my palms onto my eyes; "stupid stupid stupid...."

Now what? Obviously I apologize and work on my dumb mistakes but....how? This deafening silence made me feel too awkward to do anything!

A few more moments pass as I relentlessly ponder upon ways I could just say "I'M SORRY! I LOVE YOU!"

UGHHH FUCK IT!

I jolt up from my spot and stomp over to Loki who looked like he was trying to process what was going on.

"Listen here!" I begin and grab his shoulders, meeting my eyes with his; "I shouldn't have done all those things ok?! I'm sorry! I've been a really bad soulmate and a bad girlfriend! I'm sorry for unintentionally flirting with your brother and my co worker, reassuring you that you have no need to be jealous and doing absolutely nothing to prove that, and for not showing you that I fucking love you! But I do okay?! I love you so much that my heart is shredding itself when I think about how I hurt you! So once agaiN I AM SORRY!"

I stare down upon Loki and catch my breath as I finally vent off those thoughts and feelings.

Wait, why am I staring down- oh...

My eyes don't falter from Loki's as I hope he somehow doesn't notice the fact I've somehow ended up pinning him under me...on the bed.

"Are you finished?" Loki asks, raising an eyebrow. I sit up — still on his lap— and look at where the pillows were. Loki sits up as well and gently grabs my chin to have me face him.

Before he can say something, I quickly turn my head the other way and look up at the clock; "oh wow look at the time! My enemies to lovers slow burn webcomic uploads in a few minutes! Haha catch you later ok?"

I remove myself from him and tighten my leg muscles to run. Not even a couple steps in, I feel his cool hand wrap around my wrist and pull me back.

Two can put up a fight. I twist my wrist out of his grip and make another feeble attempt which also fails. Loki, this time, grabs my hips and pulls me down onto the bed. I barely get time to react while Loki has enough to pin me under him, grabbing my wrists to keep them in place with his left hand.

"Not so fast..."

<><><><><><>
uh wassup? Yall have every right to hate me 😭😭 Ik it's been like 3 months... I think it's bc of my depression (I don't like that word...uh let's say eternal state of sadness) I've lost interest in legit everything. Lately as well my anxiety and been horrible too and I've been dissociating a lot and it's so hard for me to do anything now. I say I'm super busy but if I didn't just spend most my time wallowing in despair I would have written but bringing myself to write—well not even write, just to do anything really—is so ughhhh! It's also a high mix of that and "what's the point if I'm not even good enough" call me Bakugou and Oikawa yall 😫💃🏽  On a bit more positive note the other fic that is under the works is going well. Like when I get the energy to write at all it's almost always to work in that one. I also like the plot better to that one😭