Starting Over

Ch.45

Steve wakes up set to go on a run but Natasha's sleeping presence against him reminds him of a much larger issue at hand. He makes his way to Sam's floor with ease, but the uneasiness in his stomach isn't helping him to keep his composure. When the elevator opens Sam is standing at his kitchen counter making a post-workout shake, he greets him with a smile.
"Hey, man. What's up?" He asks as he pours the shake into a glass offering one to the super soldier as well. Steve takes the glass Sam slides across the bar. Steve stays silent for a moment taking a drink of the shake. "Whatever it is you can tell me, no judgement I promise."
"I've been having a hard time lately." Steve starts
"That's understandable." Sam replies "anyone whose been through what you have recently, would be having a hard time."
"It's not just recently though." Steve ponders himself, focusing on his hands "After the ice, I had nothing. I threw myself into the gym, staying until I couldn't feel my hands. Then we got our first mission, and then I started working with Nat. I didn't feel so alone anymore... but sometimes I find myself just feeling trapped. I feel like I'm about to crash right into the ice again and everything will be gone in the blink of an eye."
"And now what do you do when you feel like that?" Sam asks
"Clearly I haven't stopped the punching bags." he says raising a hand to where Sam can see the bruises. "I just... Nat's worried about me and I don't want to stress her out on top of all the Wanda stuff. I don't want to scare her."
"Do you see why she's scared?" Sam questions "I mean we're talking about a woman who we've both seen walk into a building with no backup, guns blazing. She's seen you jump out of a jet with no parachute but you know what the difference is now? Now you're hers, you and the girls, you're her family. She doesn't want to lose you, man."
"She's not going to lose me..."
"Maybe you should find a better way to channel your emotions... something not as harmful, have you been sketching recently?" Sam asks
"No, guess I've just been too busy." Steve replies
"Try it out again, and maybe start going on daily runs again with me. I hate to say it but I kind of miss getting my ass kicked." Sam chuckles
"Yeah, I will. Thanks, Sam." Steve replies
"Hey and if you just want someone to talk to whose not Nat, I'm here." He adds. Steve nods, making his way to their floor again feeling slightly better.

Natasha wakes up to the sound of babbling through the monitor on her night stand. She quickly pulls herself from the bed before going to get her daughter. The nursery is barely lit with slivers of light peaking in from the blinds. Luna babbles in her crib reaching for Natasha as soon as she gets sight of her mother, giving her large smile.
"Hi, sweet girl, you're extra smiley this morning." Natasha says pressing a kiss to the babies cheek. Luna leans into her embrace as she runs a hand over the babies curls. Lia awakens at her sisters babbling, mumbling a few incoherent words. Natasha goes to the girl's bed, sitting on the edge. She runs a hand over her back as she coaxes the girl awake.
"Good morning, baby." She greets as Lia smiles sleepily at her "you sleep good?
"Good dreams, mama." Lia replies, sitting up to press herself into her mother's side.
"That's what we like to hear right, Lu?" Natasha smiles jostling the baby in her arms causing giggles to fill the room.
"Let's go make some breakfast, yeah?" Natasha adds balancing the two girls on her hips with ease.

After Peter had left upon reassurance that Wanda had forgiven him, she had fallen asleep once again. The teen sits up sleepily upon hearing muffled sounds from around the floor. Wanda makes her way to the kitchen, surprised to find Natasha cooking behind the counter, Luna still firmly attached to her hip. She makes her way to the counter leaning her head onto the older woman's shoulder.
"Good morning, Milaya, you sleep alright?" Natasha asks as she sits down the spatula.
"Mhmm." Wanda says against her shoulder, closing her eyes at the comfort she radiates.
"You want your eggs scrambled or over easy?" Natasha asks as she pushes a curl that had escaped Wanda's bun out of her face.
"Scrambled." Wanda replies though the thought of food is more appealing than it has been the last few days, she still doesn't find herself hungry or wanting to eat.
"Alright, you wanna pour the orange juice?" The spy asks gesturing to the carton and glasses sat on the bar.
"Daddy!" Lia yells as the elevator doors open, revealing Steve. He catches her mid air, tossing her over his shoulder. The little girl giggling as he walks them towards the kitchen. He flips her over before returning her to her chair.
"Good morning, kiddo." He adds as he kisses Wanda's head, before wrapping his arms around Natasha's waist.
"Hey, you. Good morning." She smiles as she leans back into his hold.
"Morning, love. Lu being clingy today?" He asks, running a hand over Luna's head.
"A little bit, hasn't let me put her down." Natasha replies.
"Just want more time with Mama huh?" Steve asks as he places a kiss to Luna's cheek. The baby gives him a wide smile, showing off the few teeth that had just come in. "I don't blame you." He smiles at the pink that tinges Natasha's cheek, he chuckles placing a kiss to her lips. "Love you."
"I love you too." Natasha replies. She doesn't miss the way Steve's eyes find her engagement ring or the dog tags peaking out from her sleep shirt. She sends him a smirk as she moves to take Lia and Wanda's plate to the table, Steve following with their own plates. Luna pouts as Natasha sits her in the high chair.
"You're alright, Solnyshko." She smiles placing a kiss to both her cheeks and the pout fades from the baby's face.
The family eats chatting amongst themselves when Wanda speaks up
"When can I go back to school?" She asks absentmindedly as she moves some scrambled eggs around her plate
"Sweetheart, there's really no rush. You can take your time, no one's expecting you to just jump right back into things." Steve replies
"if you don't think you're ready to go back anytime soon, we'll make it work, alright?" Natasha adds
"I want to try... I miss my friends, Peter, and Noah." Wanda replies
"Okay, you want to start again next week?" Natasha suggests. Wanda nods in response and goes back to shoveling her breakfast around her plate without enthusiasm. Steve and Natasha share a look across the table.
"Is it okay if Noah comes over again today, after school?" Wanda asks
"Yeah, Milaya, that's fine." Natasha replies as she scoops Luna out of her high chair. The baby sighs contently being back in her mother's arms. "Come on Li, you too, bath time."