Closed Door • JIARA •

- 28 -

JJ's POV:

We were at The Wreck looking at the map Sarah gave John B trying to get a landmark. We ended up at the Crain house. Kie started to tell the story about the murder and then she turned a little flirty when she did the thing with her hands.

Later, we were back at John B's and Kie said she was out since Sarah was in. Kie stormed off and so did Sarah. He better pick Kie. He knows that we can't do it without her.

Pope ran down to talk to Kie before I get the chance. Damn it. I watched the two of them and it looked like Pope was trying to make a move on Kie. It put me over the edge.

Then, I got stupid. We went to Barry's and I stole all the money I needed for restitution. John B followed me in and told me if I kept acting like this, I would end up like my dad. That just set me off even more.

We were outside and I pushed John B up against the van. Everyone was pissed at me so I got out and everyone said they were sick of my shit.

I took off by myself and I heard Kie said, "Just let him go.."

I went home to give my dad the money for restitution. He didn't even care that I haven't been home. I just wanted him to be proud of me for once in my life.

He was so happy and he even offered me a beer. He never shared a beer with me. That's when I knew I fucked up. My dad was going to use the money to gamble and lose it all.

I tried to grab the money and run. Then all hell broke loose. My dad and I got into a huge fight. The worse fight we've ever had.

He was strangling me and I couldn't breathe. I was about to pass out but then I somehow got out of it. I freaked out on him telling him he's never given me anything but a shitty life. I told him I wasn't scared of him anymore. I was trying to hold my tears but I failed. I walked away from him and I was a complete mess.

I bought a hot tub and had it delivered to John B's. I saw Heyward's truck pull up and Pope and Kie got out. I could see him trying to flirt with her so I fired up the generator. Kie came over and she was furious at me. I was so wasted.

I could see Kie's face and she looked at me like I was broken. Truth is, I was. My dad has emotionally destroyed me and I don't think I'll ever be okay again. I called her out, saying I want some luxury in life. Then I stood up. Her face broke. I could see her heartbreak. She didn't even hesitate. She crawled over the side of the hot tub and she got in the water with her clothes on and wrapped her arms around me.

I broke down in her arms, the one place where I felt so safe and loved. I held onto her so tight, but I was gentle as I never wanted to hurt her as my father hurt me. Pope joined the hug too but I was focused on Kie and her calming voice.

The hug broke and Pope ran inside to grab towels and I stayed in Kie's arms. He came back out and she helped me out of the hotub. She wrapped a towel around my body and Pope gave her the other one. We went inside and she brought me to the shower and I took a quick shower and I came out in my boxers and went and laid on the pullout couch. Kie is still in her wet clothes. I grabbed my shirt and I tossed it to her. It was dirty and probably didn't smell the best, but it was all that I had. I just wanted to give her a fancy shirt, that smelled like cologne and was clean and something a kook would wear. I wanted the best for her and I knew a long time ago that I wasn't that.

"Thanks.." She said smiling and going into the bathroom to change

She came back wearing only my t-shirt. I was laying on the pullout couch and she caught my eyes.

Kie sat down next to me and she lightly rubbed my back.

"Kie, do you want one of John B's clean shirts instead?" Pope asked seeing the condition of my shirt

"No, it's okay. Besides, Hawaiian shirts aren't my thing." She replied making my heart flutter

We sat there, the three of us, casually talking then Pope got all worried. This usually happened when it was late.

"So what the hell are we going to do to get that money back?" Pope asked freaking out

He walked over and asked, "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Walk away, Pope. Not right now. Take my bed tonight.." Kie said

Pope stormed off to the spare room that Kie usually slept in.

Kie laid down next to me and she wrapped her arms around me. I knew she could feel my body shaking and my heart racing.

"Shhh, it's okay, JJ.. He isn't here and he can't hurt you. You don't ever have to go back there."

I was crying and I was still so drunk. I rolled over and pulled Kie into my arms. She didn't reject, she moved closer.

"I just want you close to me." I whispered

My arms were wrapped around her and she put her hand on top of mine and said, "I know you are really emotional right now, but if you want to talk about anything, I'm here.."

"Can we go outside?" I asked

"Yeah.." Kie said grabbing the blanket and we went outside to the hammock

We could hear Pope snoring when we left and we sat on the hammock together. Instead of facing each other, Kie laid down beside me and rested her head on my bare chest.

"I almost killed my dad before I left.." I whispered so quietly as I felt guilty and I didn't want Kie to be scared of me

"It would've been self-defense."

"No... Not like that.. I just wanted him to be proud of me for once in my damn life. I brought him the restitution money and he was so damn happy. He even offered me a beer and he never shares his beer. Then he started talking about gambling the money saying I'm a piece of shit and I ruined his life and he deserved the money. So I made a run for it with the cash. That's when the fight started. He almost strangled me to death. I got away to my room and I was blasting music to drown out his screams. He passed out and I held the gun to his head.. I wanted to kill him so badly, Kie... But he is my dad and I could just see you there trying to talk me out of it and I can't spend my life in jail. I need you guys, I need you..." I said crying

Kie was also crying and she said, "I'm proud of you, JJ. I love you, you're my person, my best friend. I am always going to be here.."

Kie kissed my cheek and said, "I will kill you if you ever do something stupid like that again."

I gave her a small laugh and said, "I promise."

We just laid there together and I was calm again.

"You know you don't need to wear that nasty t-shirt. You can wear one of John B's.." I said feeling guilty as I saw there was some dry blood on it

"JJ, I'm okay.." She said reassuring me

"Kie, it's an old shirt that's dirty. Probably smells bad and there is dry blood on it. Let me get you something clean.." I said moving to get up

"I want to wear this shirt." She protested

"Why on earth would you want my dirty shirt? I can give you Pope's extra shirt he keeps here."

"Because it smells like you and it's the shirt you wore when we went to the island for the first time.." She said

We fell asleep in each other's arms and when we woke up, Pope was still asleep. Kie put her clothes from the night before back on and gave me my shirt back. I put it on and it smelled like her. I understood what she meant. Her smell brought back so many memories.