Transformation Tragedies [CoRIII]

Chapter 19 - Sharp turn

[It seems to be past midnight once Nicole's eyes catch a glimpse of the trees' dark silhouettes right in front of her. She just zoned out while continuing on an exhaustingly long track of running, not even being aware of where her paws carried her to. She pants as the darkening sky soon turns into a rainfall. Not being able to identify whether it's rain or tears flowing on her cheeks anymore, the cat stares at herself in a puddle that evolves next to her. She keeps standing still on all fours and feels like her spine is on fire. Realizing she still hasn't fully transformed, she lets herself drop to the muddy ground in front of where the forest starts. Continuing to stare at her reflection that has yellow sclerae, sticking out fangs and ragged up clothing, her sobbing increases.

She suddenly bends her back and slashes her paws through her reflection, digging away the mud of the puddle. Once she can't see herself anymore, she bends her head and keeps still like this for minutes. Her fur gets soaked by the worsening rain and it washes off all the blood. Not that she cares. Not that she can think clearly. Not that she can feel... anything.

But then she feels again... A terrible burning fire growing inside her by a spark that her own mind caused. I'm not using my condition as excuse... right?, she thinks.]

Nicole: [Out loud] I'm a victim, right? I- I'm suffering, right? I tried to fix all my mistakes... right? I'm not... a bad person... right?

[She stops her sentences and her eyes widen as she opens them again, revealing her pupils started glowing.]

Nicole: I'm not bad, right? I never wanted this, right? This madness didn't become part of me... This madness didn't become tempting... I haven't built up immunity to killing...

[As the rainstorm starts getting even worse, the strong upwelling wind causes her words to get faded away and she increases the volume of her voice. Not caring about her still damaged throat, her voice cracks terribly as she forces herself to yell.]

Nicole: I'M NOT A BAD PERSON!... I WANT TO LIVE!... I WANT TO BE... I WANT TO BE ME...

[Raising her head up high, her voice roughens itself by an accompanying, terrific roar.]

Nicole: WHY WAS I BORN LIKE THIS...

[She gags and coughs after letting her head hang again, embracing the sound of the rushing wind. She opens her watery eyes after having kept them closed for another moment and stares at her terribly morphed, clawed paws. Her eyes move to her chest, seeing how her ribcage morphed as well now and she gives up on resisting.

"Get up."

Nicole gasps and lowers her head even more as she keeps her paws stretched out in front of her.

"W-what?"

"I said GET UP!"

The blue feline feels an extremely sharp shock rushing through her veins and she jumps up while yowling in agony. She keeps panting while trying her best to stand as stable as she can.

"Oh... Of course you're doing this to m-me now..."

"You won't ever be able to get used to it... Your pain has been increasing so badly, numbness isn't a new thing to you anymore either, is it?"

"What do you want from me..."

"Making you realize how much of a fool you've been... HEH, FOOL! YOU KEPT FIGHTING AND FIGHTING... How many times have I told you it wasn't any use..."

"S-stop it... S-stop..."

"...Now look where it got you..."

"Shut up... SHUT UP! You're not real... Nothing of you is real... You're only in my head..."