bucket list || l. norris

forty

* sorry for the delay in updating. please make sure to read the note at the end - we hit a pretty cool milestone recently! i can't thank you enough for that. enjoy this chapter and don't forget to engage as much as you can! i will be replying to everyone, and maybe even following some consistent readers back to say thank you for being so loyal. 100k gang!  <3 *

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This is what it'll be like for Lando when he wakes up one day.

An empty bed.

My heart sank when I fully realised that he wasn't here. The apartment was silent. I just knew he wasn't home.

With no note on his pillow to let me know where he was, I rolled over and unplugged my phone, inhaling Lando's scent from the sheets as I moved. Last night's argument - or whatever it was - was all down to me. If I'd been honest from the start, we wouldn't find ourselves in such a silly predicament. Everything would be getting better because Lando wanted to help, since he's always on my side, always wanting to make me better. If Lando could give me his heart, he would.

He would sacrifice anything for me.

No texts. No missed calls. No voicemails. Nothing to let me know where he could possibly be at nine in the morning on his break from work. Unless he woke early and decided to go for a run. But I would've heard him. He would've woken me.

A text from Micah caught my eye though, and it distracted me for a second. I let the whole concept of not knowing where my boyfriend was go. As an adult, he could look after himself.

< MICAH: Morning sis, I had a good night ;) in case you're wondering. I couldn't believe mum took that photo and sent it to you. She showed me at breakfast. His name is Ivo, and he was born in Croatia, but has lived in London since he was two because his mum is British. Small world. He's one year older than me and works in business management, he's lovely, and he's so hot - like, so beautiful. I met him on our first night here and we hit it off straight away.

MICAH: I even opened up to him. I know I won't regret it.

MICAH: I love you. Are you keeping okay? See you soon. X >

I made an immediate mental note to reply to him as soon as I had the capacity to do so. By the sounds of things, Micah wouldn't be waiting desperately with his phone in his hand for a reply. It made me smile - to think that my brother would maybe, finally be happy with someone - even if it was very early.

Micah's happiness was so important to me.

Not wanting to spend my entire day sulking because of my argument with Lando, I kicked the sheets backwards and let out an infuriated sigh, despite not wanting to let everything get to me. Extra stress was the last thing I needed.

Since finishing work for the summer shutdown, I hadn't found the time for proper self care. A proper pamper was exactly what I needed, and even more so now, to take my mind off of Lando's lack of presence. I padded across the carpet, my toes getting lost in the softness beneath my feet, and entered the bathroom. By habit, I left it unlocked. Just in case something happened to me.

Despite not wanting to worry about where Lando might be, I found him at the very front of my mind, as I thought about what he would do if he returned home to find me collapsed beneath the running shower. The thought made me feel sick. Would be know what to do? Would he be able to save me? One million questions flooded my mind as I wondered what my last moments on Earth would be like.