bucket list || l. norris

fifty two

* sorry to keep you waiting - but here you go! enjoy *

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I wasn't allowed to fly to Russia and I was advised to take the weekend off from work. I didn't argue. There was no point in putting up a fight when Cyrus' instructions were clear and it was for my own good. The scariest part about taking ill in Singapore was being so far away from home.

Lando left for Sochi on Wednesday - two days ago. He promised he would call as soon as he touched down in Russia and then every morning and night. He made me promise that as soon as I received my test results - morning or night - I had to call and let him know immediately. I promised on my own accord that I would try to be better so that I could fly to Japan; I didn't have much hope.

Being at home whilst Lando was at the track couldn't be worse. Although I was at my parents' house, with Micah and Ivo fussing over me non-stop, I just wanted to be by Lando's side. Something had changed within me after Singapore and it felt only right to be with Lando 24/7. It was probably a fear thing.

"Are you comfortable?" Ivo's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

My parents were working; mum at her office in London and dad nestled away in his home office. Micah was at McLaren for his second interview. So, it was just Ivo and I, curled up on the sofa, waiting for FP2 to start.

"I'm fine, Ivo," I smiled. "You don't need to worry."

"I can tell you miss Lando, that you'd rather be at work," he sighs. It's true. "I know you're sadder than you usually are and that you're constantly asking yourself every 'what if' question."

I didn't know what to respond with so I just sat in silence for a second.

"You need to be ready to look after Micah and my family," I blurted out. It literally came from nowhere. "And Lando. Mostly Micah, but definitely Lando."

"Mila," Ivo sighed. "Where has this come from?"

"We all know what's happening to me, Ivo," I sat up. "You need to be prepared to look after Micah for me, when it happens."

"Stop speaking about it like that," Ivo almost glared at me. "Stop speaking about it as if it's going to happen soon. You know you're healthy."

"I'm just being realistic."

Ivo opened his mouth to speak when my phone started ringing. I looked at him, knowing that it wouldn't be Lando because I only spoke to him a short while ago, just after FP1. Then, I looked at my phone screen and my heart dropped to my stomach.

Cyrus' caller ID was flashing up on the screen and I felt sick to my core. Ivo glanced at my phone too, probably once he saw my face fall, before reaching for my hand.

"You need to answer it, Mila."

"I'm scared," I whispered, my entire mouth now bone dry. "What if it's bad news?"

"You have to answer the call," he avoided my question. "If not for you, for Lando."

I exhaled, before lifting my phone into my shaking hands. I pressed the green button to answer the call and held my phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Mila," hearing Cyrus' voice just made me fill with unease; his tone wasn't the most uplifting. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," I bit down on my lip. "Do you have news?"

I knew he had news. He wouldn't call unless he had the results of my tests.

I wanted to stand up and begin pacing around the room but Ivo reached for my hand before I could do so. He began to caress my knuckles with the pad of his thumb.