bucket list || l. norris

forty nine

* i am so sorry for making you wait so long for an update. here's a long chapter. it's cute, i promise. please engage as you read but most of all, please enjoy :) *

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"So, what did you do when I was training?" Lando sat beside me on our bed with a fresh white towel secured around his waist. His hair was dripping wet, the odd droplet often falling onto my knuckles.

I showered earlier, after returning from the hospital, and then spent half an hour deciding on what to wear for our double date with Micah and Ivo this evening. Our table was booked at a beautiful Italian restaurant in Guildford for seven P.M., and I couldn't wait to let my hair down and spend time with my boyfriend, my brother, and his boyfriend. I really needed it.

"I went to the hospital," I let the words out without even thinking about it. I knew Lando would worry as soon as he processed the words, and I noticed his eyebrows tightening as soon as he looked at me. "Don't look at me like that. It's nothing."

"Is there something wrong?" Lando reached for my hands. His fingertips were soft against my skin and it brought a sense of comfort I'd been missing all day. "Did Micah go with you? I would've skipped training..."

"I went alone. I wanted to go alone," for a second, I wanted us to cancel all of our plans and simply have Lando hold me. "I've been worrying a lot, so I wanted to speak to Cyrus for some reassurance."

Lando remained silent and I watched the expressions change on his face as he processed my words. He didn't say anything initially, and instead, he pulled me into his chest. Without hesitation, although he was still wet from his shower, I buried my face into his neck. I didn't cry. I just wanted to be held.

"But are you okay? Physically? Mentally?" Lando's question provoked me to pull away and take his hands between mine. "I'm here for you."

"I know you are," I smiled, and kissed his forehead sweetly. "And I'm okay. Cyrus told me everything is okay. I've just been thinking about a valve replacement."

"What?" My words took him by surprise again. "Why?"

"I wanted to know if it would keep me alive longer, you know, for as long as you," I knew how much he hated hearing that, and I hated saying it, too, because it planted that seed of paranoia in his head. "Cyrus said that right now, it's not even something I should think about because I'm healthy, but if I needed one, he would tell me. The only way to know is to go for regular tests."

Lando nodded his head, because he didn't know what to say. The only person I wanted by my side through all of this, was him. I didn't want to tell mum and dad, or Micah, about this yet, if at all. Lando was the only person I wanted to know, so he could be there for me when I needed it.

"Please don't tell anyone I was there. Cyrus promised," I chewed on my lip in fear that he would lecture me on how important it was to keep my family informed about anything that involved my heart. "I need you to promise, too."

"I promise," Lando brushed my hair away from my eyes. I still hadn't decided how to style it tonight. "I won't tell anyone, but I'll be here for you though everything. All of this."

"I know you will," I smiled. "I just wanted to go myself to prove that I was capable of talking about it without anyone beside me. Sometimes, I feel all sorts of pressure; I'm scared to say the wrong thing."

Lando didn't say anything. Instead, he pulled me into his bare chest which was still a little damp from the shower. He was warm, and he smelled fresh, and as excited as I was to go out tonight, spending some time under the covers with him sounded amazing. We were so busy at the moment that it felt like we had barely any time to spend together - just us two. We were flying to Russia soon, and being away meant hard work. Although we'd only just started up again after the summer break, I was desperate for some quality time with Lando.