𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐁𝐎𝐘.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭...

* * *

❝ and i may just
take your breath away
i don't mind if there's
not much to say
sometimes the silence
guides a mind
to move to a place so far away..❞

* * *

indigo's pov

i sigh deeply as i glance down at the screen of my phone, counting down the minutes to the time that i unfortunately told jae i would join him and his friends at.

i merely agreed to peace between us, and somehow now i have to hangout with a bunch of weird ass juniors, and judging from the type of person jae is, they're probably going to all be either nerds who fantasize about straight a's, or stuck-up kids who don't know how to voice their thoughts correctly- or like jae, both.

i love being high. if i can manage it, i'm almost always high- it's as if i need it to stop me from dwindling back into the hardcore shit, but i know very well now that i'll never allow myself to go through that again, no matter how hard it gets.

i refuse to treat myself like the piece of shit the world already belittles someone like me to.

begrudgingly, i rise from my bed as time has quickly came and gone, and with it the end of my free time. i don't bother to make any effort, not fixing my bedridden, messy curls that slightly covered my eyes or put anything else on but the shorts i wore. it's not as if its actually something to get excited about.

the only friend i've ever had in my life was named aitana.

i met her when i was eleven, in my very first stay in a group home; back when the social workers beauru had absolutely no idea where to put me, because though i had family nobody seemed to want to step up to the plate and take care of their sister's troubled, cursed child. the only reason we bonded was because we both spoke spanish, and we used it as a way to communicate to eachother whenever we felt scared, or unsafe.

slowly, my friendship with the girl who had long, brown curls began to grow. we spent every single minute together, and because my amounts of testosterone were so low the gender on my birth certificate was actually declared as female- i was just lumped in with the girls based off of looks; it's always been like that- teachers asking me which one i preferred as if they were truly scared to call me a man, which biologically i wasn't.. but then again, i'm not a girl.

i'm just me, and aitana understood that more than anyone else.

we shared a room together, secrets, laughs, tears, and if i could call anyone a true friend, it would be her. though i was two years younger than the girl, we both shared the same views about the world that we live in; that it was incredibly shitty, and if we could we'd do anything to depart from our lives.

aitana took that seriously.
my best friend ran away a couple weeks into my third month in the group home, yet i felt no sorrow at all. if anything, i was glad that she was getting away from the hellhole called the system, and taking as much control over her life as she could.