𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐁𝐎𝐘.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲-𝐭𝐰𝐨..

❝ hands down,
i'm too proud for love.
but with my eyes shut,
it's you i'm thinking of.

but how we moved from a to b,
it can't be up to me,
cause i don't know
eye to eye,
thigh to thigh.
i let go

i think i'm a little bit,
a little bit
in love with you- but only
if you're a little bit,
a little bit
in love with me

and for you,
i keep my legs apart.
and forget
about my tainted heart.
and i will never
be the first to say it,
but still
you know i.. ❞

***

𝐣𝐚𝐞'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯.
𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠.

"and you're sure you're alright? you don't need me to stay?"

i glance over at my uncle who looks at me with the concern i often see in his sometimes tender, emotional brown eyes but i can't even begin to match his level of sincerity and i haven't been able to do much since this morning. now that we sit in front of the house, five hours later, it seems a bit surreal to think that something well.. traumatizing occured not too long ago.

"i'm fine keun-abeoji." i clarify despite the fact that i've been telling the worried man that for about the entire duration we had been away from the house. "..really."

yosef glances over at me, blinking doubtfully before locking his eyes back onto the steering wheel.

"when i ask you that," he begins, his voice apparently softer as he takes a moment to smooth the literal non-existent crease in his forehead, moving his fingers against his wrinkle-free skin. "i mean more physical prospects. somebody very important to you is also hurt, even if it manifested in a different way and knowing you, you are well aware of this fact; you are also even more hurt because of it. it puts a lot on your conscious, jae-yong. you may look at me as your uncle, but i see you as my child- in no way do i want my child to be distressed, so please- when i ask you if you are okay, i don't mean is your nose fine. it's obviously not, it was crooked as hell- but anyways, don't think you can escape from this. we're going to talk when i get back home from work, and take it easy. no studying. i'm serious. understood?"

i can't help but to snicker over at the man who is somewhat like indigo; he cannot open up to you even a little bit without mixing a little bit of humor in it to cope with the tremendous outflow, but i don't mind. the fact that he told me not to study is him trying even harder than he usually does. of course i see him as more than an uncle, which is why i've never felt as 'fatherless' as i am, because in my dad's absence i have someone who i know is much better.

"alright." i accept, giving him my best version of a smile which is not easy, considering how stiff and sore my face feels. "i'll be honest with you- later, of course."
"yeah, yeah," he hums before shooing me away but suddenly stops as i get out of the car. "remember to put contacts in. those glasses are putting too much pressure on your nose."
"i will. have a good day at work."