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❝ seems like i care too much when i'm all alone i think that i'm falling out you know what i mean ..?❞
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jae's pov
not even the droning of the teacher's monotone voice explaining today's lesson could help cure the boredom of my mind that felt absolutely empty yet was full to the brim.
this morning, something happened. i'm not exactly sure what it was; all i know is that after i put on my glasses i could see a lot more than my two hands in front of me- i saw the atmosphere, and the confliction disputed in it. something had occurred between yosef and indigo, and i'm not sure what it was but it silenced indigo, and when i say silenced i mean it.
he hasn't said a word; not at the breakfast table, not in the car, not even when we got to the school. he just stared into space, his face occupied by the current state of his mood, which must've been greatly downcast. indigo has a quite peculiar resting face in which he looks like if he really wanted to, he could kill someone without a thought. his mean mug is intense, but today it was replaced with lesser expression dilated with an emotion i couldn't tell what was; whether it was a peace that had finally set over him, or whether his mind was simply too occupied to do anything else but to observe.
whatever it was had greatly upset him, and i couldn't help but to wonder what their discussion was about before i had interrupted it.
i know my place now- i'd be stupid if i didn't assume it by now, but i can't help but to want to know what caused him to possess such a frown, but there's no way indigo would actually tell me if i asked. i was surprised even yesterday when he voluntarily sat by me, or replied to any of the stupid, boring small talk i made; i guess that he had agreed to be friends, but i wasn't exactly expecting him to reciprocate anything.
i know he's only tolerating me, but i can't help the way i act.. his mere presence has a grip on me; he makes me more than nervous- he makes me feel intimidated, almost, because i know that when i look at indigo i feel things that are anything but platonic.
of course, it's not mutual- not even a bit.
when he looks at me, he sees a little, immature boy; someone who could only reach the status of an annoying little brother or even worse.. cousin, and though he hasn't even been with us for two weeks, i'm already set on changing that.
i have to- for my sanity.
"excuse me," i ask, raising my hand and directing the teacher's attention to me. "may i go to the bathroom?" "sure."
