He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not // Everlark

Chapter 59

-Katniss' POV-

"KATNISS OPEN UP NOW!" I hear Finnick yell from outside my house as him, Annie, Marvel, Jo, Clove and Madge bang on the door.

I haven't been outside in around four maybe five months. I've just locked myself in my house, no contact with no one. I refuse to answer my phone to anyone.

We were never dating. I just agreed to be his fake girlfriend if he got me drugs. Now look at me.

A complete mess.

A fucked up 20 year old, who dumped their boyfriend for a pathetic reason, smokes, drinks, does drugs. What hope is there for me anymore?

They've even gotten Peeta, Cato, Gale, Glimmer and Delly to try and get me to open my door.

I think I hear Peeta call me as I feel my mind start to go dizzy. I shake my head slightly, my sight coming back to see Peeta opening my balcony door and running in. Damn. I forgot about that stupid door.

"Katniss look at you. You're a mess." He says tucking hair behind my ears. He stands back up from kneeling in front of me and disappears out of my door.

I hear pounding of the stairs as people run up it. Peeta comes in first, sitting next to me on my bed.

They all crowd around me but I get up, pushing them out of the way as I walk to my mirror on my dressing table. I look at the person in front of me.

Pale. Bloodshot eyes. Bags under her eyes. Dry, dull, greasy hair. Constant shaking. No life in her eyes. Chapped lips. Dry but runny nose. Sucked in cheeks. Smokers cough.

I look down to her hands that are resting on the dressing table through the mirror.

Bony hands. Chewed nails. Patchy, pale skin.

This was never the girl she would see in front of her 5 months ago. She would have a smile, olive skin, bright eyes, clean hair, soft lips, no smokers cough, no sucked in cheeks.

I shakily reach my hands for one of my draws, opening it to find bags of white powder. I take one, shutting the draw and locking it. I reach for the card that's on my table and pour it onto it. They haven't noticed what I'm doing yet. If they did, they'd be all over me. I sit down on my carpet, my back to them as I hold one of my nostrils closed ad I hold the card up in sniffing range. I'm about half way through when Finnick starts speaking.

"You okay Kat?"

I nod, still sniffing up the white powder on the card. I look down to see It's all gone. I throw the card behind me as I slowly breathe in and out.

"Katniss!" Finnick exclaims.

"Fuck." I mumble.

"Did you just fucking sniff right in front of us?!"

I turn around, wiping my nose. I nod, looking down. "I can't help it..."

"You need to stop Kat." Jo says.

"I can't help it!" I shout. "For fuck sake. I'm fucking addicted and can't stop."

Ugh. My mood is crap at the moment, which is making my chapters crap.

Hopefully my mood and life all together will get beter soon so maybe my chapters will be back to normal and actually better than right now.

Comment what book you want updated next❤