I love you [cm oneshots]

44/98

"Hotch?" Hotch's head snaps up when he hears the trembling voice from inside the bathroom attached to their shared hotel room.

"What's wrong?" He calls walking closer to the door.

"I really messed up" Spencer admits his voice sounding close to break.

"I am gonna come in okay?"

"Please" Nervously Hotch opens the door to the bathroom seeing Spencer sitting on the floor, blood dropping down from his arm, running out from underneath the hand that he presses onto the wound, "Please fix me."

Quickly Hotch grabs a towel crouching down in front of him. "What happened?"

"It was an accident" Spencer whispers flapping his blood smeared hand.

"How did this happen?" Hotch questions skeptical.

"I- I didn't want to cut so deep. I promise" Spencer crouches down lower so he can make Hotch look him into the eyes, "Please"

"What did you use?"

"A pocket knife." He admits and reaches for it before Hotch stops him, seeing the old knife he got from Gideon when he started working at the BAU. "Sir?"

"I'll drive you to the hospital"

"No- No hospital"

"This is not up for debate." Hotch grabs Spencer free hand, "This stays on the towel, you press down the whole time okay?"

"I am not going to the hospital."

"We are, come on." Hotch grabs Spencer at his upper arm pulling him up. "It's gonna be okay."

"Please just do it here-"

"Not gonna happen, these need professional help."

"No-No-"

"Spencer this is not debatable. I am either gonna call an ambulance or we are gonna drive down there." Hotch raises his voice slightly while Spencer tries getting out of his grip. "Come on"

"No"

"Spencer please." After a moment of fighting he turns Spencer around, sitting down onto the floor with him, having him lean with his back against his cheat. "Take a deep breathe"

"I hate you- I hate you!"

"We are gonna calm down together first"

"Just fix my arm!" Spencer yells panicking at the sight. "Fix it please"

"I am gonna call an ambulance now okay, buddy?" Hotch keeps Spencer steady against his chest and reaches for the phone in his pocket, "You are okay, it's gonna be okay"

He sits with him on the floor, rocking them from side to side as Spencer cries in his arms, "Why are you doing this?"

"It's okay" Hotch wipes his hair back pushing Spencer's head to lay on his shoulder, "It's gonna be okay, they are just gonna help with your arm, we will talk about everything else once everything is okay."

"They are gonna lock me up."

"Nobody is locking you up." Hotch ensures him. "They will only take care of the cut and we will see what we can do to help you afterwards and together okay? We can discuss options."

"They are not gonna want to discuss options."

"I do. And I am not gonna leave your side okay? It's all gonna be okay."

"They are gonna lock you up."

"Nobody will lock you up and even if we decide that a stay in a mental hospital is going to help you the best, then that is not a bad thing."

When the two paramedics arrive he is quick to get intimidated by them, even though they try their best not to be. "We are gonna go with them okay?"

"Sir we need to keep moving." The man pushes when Spencer stops dead in tracks at the thought of going into the ambulance.

"I will be with you." Gently Hotch guides him to lay down inside and starts letting his fingers run through his hair and it doesn't take long for Spencer to go non verbal and eventually his eyes start to get heavy from the blood lost and it's all so confusing because his thoughts don't end before new ones start and his brain is just a big mess, "You are gonna be okay, kid" Hotch speaks to him when he hears him whimper. "Keep your eyes open."

"I know you are tired, Buddy. But you gotta listen to your friend here, you need to stay awake for us. Can you do that?" Apprehensive Spencer nods and looks at Hotch again, making a motion to grab something with his hand and it takes the older man a moment to understand what he wants but when he does, he takes Spencer's hand into his, letting him play with the wedding ring on his finger.

"How long till we got there?"

"Three minutes top" The medics tells him.

"You heard that? Three minutes." Hotch repeats to Spencer keeping one hand laying on his face the other at his hand.

It takes a while at the hospital until Spencer is finally situated in a bed, the wound sewed and he himself sleeping. "Hotch, what happened?" Worried Morgan steps into the room.

"He is okay"

"Why didn't you call us?"

"There was no time okay?" Protectively Hotch shields Spencer from him, even though he knows that Derek has nothing but love for him. "He is okay you hear me?"

"Did he try- did he-"

"I don't think so" Hotch tells him while Derek rans his hand over his face, letting out a breath. "He is gonna need some quiet, make sure the team is informed not to crowd him. I am gonna talk to him about treatment options-"

"Like you did when he was addicted-"

"Derek" Hotch presses, "I've got this."

When Derek comes back in the evening he finds Spencer alone in his hospital bed, playing with a puzzle. "Hey you"

"Hey you" He shoots Derek a soft smile.

"Where is Hotch?"

"Where is Hotch? Hotch fixed me" He tells him, letting his hand run over the bandage. "Hotch is gonna fix me, it's gonna be okay."

Hesitant Derek steps closer putting a hand on his back seeing the brochure on the table before he leans down and places a kiss in his hair, "Listen, we are never gonna leave your side okay? Can you do me the favor and listen to Hotch very carefully when you two talk about what will happen? I know how terrifying this is right now, I have been there too but closing your ears is not gonna make things better. Hotch is gonna make sure you are safe, he doesn't do anything to hurt you."

"I know" With a tear in his eyes Derek wipes back some hair out of Spencer's face, seeing a little bit of blood at his neck that hasn't been wiped away. "Hotch is gonna fix me now"