I love you [cm oneshots]

86

"Luke?"

"Mmm?" Deeply concentrated on his file he doesn't look up to Spencer, "What is it?"

"I am gonna get out for a second."

"You want me to come with you?"

"No- I am fine. Just need a moment." Spencer explains while wringing out his hands. "Okay?"

"Of course" Emily encourages him, "You want someone to come looking for you in a few minutes?"

"Yes, in 10 minutes"

"Okay someone will" Matt tells him and with that Spencer excuses himself, hurrying out of the precinct. "Is he okay?"

"Yes" Luke tells him sitting back down in his seat, "I will check on him then but I am sure he was just needing a moment to himself"

Spencer walks around the precinct and finds an old bench at the side that he assumes officers usually use for a quick smoke break and sits down there, hugging himself and starting to rock back and forth, "Hey you!" A male voice calls for him and he opens his eyes, looking at two men in uniform approaching him. "You with the feds?"

"Yes" Confused he looks up to the man with slicked back hair. "I am. I am Dr. Spencer Reid"

"Dr?"

"For what?"

"Mathematics, chemistry and engineering." Spencer states, "Can I do something for you?" He asked apprehensively forcing himself to sit up straight, tapping his thigh nervously.

"Just wondering what you are doing out here?"

"Catching a break" He explains and looks down again.

"Catching a break? From what? Staring at maps all day?"

"I am profiling the killer with the help of the maps." He explains

"And when you find him? What are you gonna do? Freak him into handcuffs? Stare him down?" One of the officers jokes.

"No"

"Don't tell him you can take him down with your hands?"

"My team can." Spencer tells him, his hand coming up to nervously scratch his neck.

"Stop that." One of the officers rips his hands away.

"Jesus that's disgusting"

"I am sorry" Spencer apologizes and places his hands in bis lap.

"You better" The officer tells him, "You have not really done anything to help us here have you?"

"I have"

"Like what? Repeating everything your teammates said?"

"Yeah we heard that." The second officer adds with a chuckle, "You just learning to speak or something? My toddler repeats less words than you."

"No" Confused Spencer looks up to him, "I learned speaking when I was a child."

"You stupid or something?" The officer reaches down when Luke's voice apperears,

"Hey!" He hurries down the path towards them, "What do you think you are doing?"

"Nothing, Sir" Protectively Luke places a hand on Spencer's shoulder.

"Didn't look like nothing from back there."

"We just had a little chat."

"Is that so?" Luke asks looking the officer into his eyes, "Well whatever this chat was about it's gonna end now." He tells them off before they lower their head, "Spence we need you inside"

Quickly Spencer gets up following Luke inside, his fist regularly hitting his arm, "It's okay, we are gonna get inside and into quiet okay?"

"Please" He whispers, as they enter the busy bullpen, "Quiet"

"I am gonna get you into the quiet." Luke leans them through the busy trouble over to their conference room, "Time for a coffee break, everyone out." He announces pulling a chair back for Spencer to sit on, "It's okay, it's okay, deep breath."

With tears in his eyes Spencer shakes his head, his hand hitting his thigh regularly.

"Okay, okay, we are gonna work through this. It's okay."

Again Spencer shakes his head while the others leave the room.

"I know." Luke goes down on one knee in front of him, "You wanna sit down on the floor?"

"Please"

"Okay we can do that" Gently Luke reaches for him and helps him sit sown on the floor, "Matt closed the blinds, nobody sees a thing, it's okay. Whatever happened we can talk about that"

Luke doesn't get an answer and just sits down next to him, making sure Spencer knows he isn't alone while he keeps on hitting his thigh for quite a while just being quiet until Luke starts making out some words and starts trying to catch Spencer's attention but no success so he eventually reaches between Spencer's fist and thigh, lowering the impact to avoid bruising, "Stupid"

"What is?"

"Stupid, stupid, me"

"Why?"

"Why? Why? Look at me." He brings out and keeps on hitting Luke's hand, "Stupid"

"Nothing about this is stupid."

"Me"

"You neither"

"Hate this, I hate this" Spencer exclaims and starts hitting harder for a moment before he stops and takes a deep breath, scratching his neck, "Help please"

"I am here" Luke grabs Spencer's hand, "What do you need?"

Spencer shakes his head, fiddling at his tie, "I am gonna take that off for you" Luke announces and takes off Spencer's tie followed by opening the first few buttons, "Keep up with the breething you are doing fantastic"

"No"

"Yes you are"

"Stop helping me" He brings out. "Stop it"

"Okay, of course" Luke takes his hands off him, stepping back from him, "It's okay"

"Work"

"Work?" Luke questions kneeling down with space to him.

"To stupid for this work."

"Who is?"

"Me" Multiple times Spencer taps his chest with his palm, "Useless"

"No, no, Spence you are not. Who told you that?" It's not unusal for Spencer to feel this way about himself right after or during a meltdown. Mostly he feels embarrassed and discouraged. "Did the officers tell you that?"

"They are right." He brings out, "Look at me"

"Love-"

"No!"

"Okay, Spencer, whatever they told you is not true." Luke tries assuring him, "You are very much capable of handling this job and being a part of this team."

"I slow everything down. All I do is slowing everything down."

"No you don't."

"I do. Don't lie to me." He brings out with a crackling voice, "Stop lying"

"I am not. Listen, I am sorry I wasn't there when these guys approached you but whatever they said, it's not something you should put over my word. You don't slow us down if anything you are the one why we are as fast and good as we are-"

"No Garcia does that. She is the reason-"

"I know you don't like hearing that but your work helps us as much as Garcia's does. Without your work we wouldn't even know what questions to ask Gracia and then you are right- she takes over and she does an amazing job but you are important too. You hear me?"