I love you [cm oneshots]

99

"Be careful" Spencer whispers when Derek takes Henry out of the seat and walks with him across the room towards him.

"I am" Derek tells him with a smile, "Sit down I will place him in your arms."

After Will got hurt on the job the two received a panicked phone call from JJ that she needs someone to watch the baby until they come back from the hospital.

"Why in my arms? I don't want that-"

"Relax." Gently Morgan places him in Spencer's arms, using the opportunity for Spencer to in quiet, without numerous people around him telling him what to do, get close to his godson. "Look at that."

Morgan crouches down in front of them, letting his finger run over the baby's face.

"He is so small!" Spencer exclaims, his eyes starting to water, "He is so small, look at him."

"He is. He is adorable isn't he?"

"I wanna hug him, look how tiny everything is." He tells Morgan who starts chuckling at his boyfriend getting slowly overwhelmed with love for the baby. "I love him."

"I can see that." Derek reaches up wiping a tear away from Spencer's cheek. "Tell me when it gets to much."

"He is so tiny." Spencer repeats and pulls him closer before leaning down, "Hi" He whispers and looks down on him, a bright smile forming on his face and Henry reaches up, a quiet noise leaving his mouth before he grabs into Spencer's hair and Morgan in the first moment wants to interfere, making sure Spencer doesn't overreact but Spencer ignores the hand and just keeps whispering love confessions to the small baby.

"I can't wait to be a father." Derek states with a chuckle as he sits down next to them, wrapping a hand around Spencer and placing the other on Henry. "Imagine having this all day."

"No"

"No?" Derek questions surprised. "What do you mean no?"

"I don't want any children." Spencer confesses and keeps locking down on the child while Derek takes his hands off them.

"What do you mean- why?"

"I would get angry- I would hurt them. I know it. I wouldn't have the patience and end up like my mom and dad. I would scare and scar them. You know the statistics too." Morgan can see Spencer holding the baby tighter, afraid that he will take him away now.

"That would not happen- you could never hurt a child."

"I could also not love it enough-"

"You do. Spencer you know Henry for this short amount of time and you already love him more than anyone else in the world."

"I don't want children, I am sorry." Spencer shoots him a quick smile ignoring the tears in Derek's eyes.

"We are not ready yet anyways." Derek tries comforting him but more himself and lets his hand move over Spencer's back before getting up and leaving the room.

When Spencer years later holds Hank in his arms, while Savannah and Derek look down on him, he wishes he would have never said what he did that day, because no matter what he did, Derek's fear of not becoming a father was in the end stronger than the love he had for him.