Without Her

chapter 8 - changing

Hardin's POV:

"Is everything okay?" Carla asks as soon as I walk into my office.

"Out" I tell her before I lose my mind and snap at her despite her innocence.

This cannot be fucking happening. My Tess isn't sick, she can't be. I've loved that woman, what it seems like, my whole life. And now she get's serious sick. This isn't possible.

"Hey, uhm, where did you go? Hardin please call me back. I am headed home and I expect you to be there too. Don't do anything stupid" Her voicemail says.

'Don't do anything stupid' her words repeat in my mind while I look at the cigarette I'm holding in between my fingers.

I haven't smoked in a long time, maybe even years.

But today I needed it. When my lungs are filled with the smoke, a relief type feeling shivers down my body. I let the air consume me, while I think about everything that happened.

I am very well aware that I should be at home, comforting my wife. It is a big news to her after all. But I just can't face her after everything. I just need some time to process everything.

"Sir?" I am interrupted by a knock, and I know it's none other than my assistant.

"Come in" I wave my hands to clear out the smoke so I can see clearly.

"You have a call" she whispers.

"I can't attend right now" I am in no condition to talk to anyone.

"But it's-"

"Whoever it is" I cut her off and she leaves my office without further discussion.

Tessa's POV:

I wake up in the middle of the night, soaked in sweat and breathlessness. To my surprise, I find Hardin's arm wrapped around my body. He's nudged into my back, nuzzling his warm face in my neck. His grip is tight but I manage to turn my body to face him and push him a little behind, to get some air.

The whole day he didn't contact me or even let me know when he will be home. After a few hours, I had given hope and decided to move on with my day. I didn't call him for dinner, and slept without waiting for him.

His behavior is really scaring me. He isn't the same now, he is busier and he doesn't think straight. Before all he thought about was me, and he gave me all his attention. He couldn't stay away from me. And now... now I have to grasp moments to be able to spend time with him.

I didn't think he would leave me after the news that hit him today. It's bigger for me but he didn't care about me.

I remove his hand from me and head to the kitchen to get some water.

I hear his footsteps coming towards the kitchen while I quench my thirst. I turn around to see him standing at the kitchen door, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to open his eyes clearly.

"What-" he clears his throat and takes a step closer. "What are you doing?" he yawns taking the empty glass from me and filling it for himself.

I ignore him and walk past him to the door but he grabs my wrist with one hand, drinking the water with other. After he gulps it down, he turns around and walks with me.

"Why did you wake up?" I ask him in a whisper.

"I couldn't sleep. I just fell asleep a few minutes ago" he informs as we enter the room, and he jumps back into the bed.

I turn on the AC and check the time to see that it's 4:17 in the morning.,

Without any word to him, I get on my side of the bed and lay down. He tries to put his arm around me but I push it away.