Without Her

chapter 17 - checking off things

Tessa's POV:

My eyes flutter open and I look around for Hardin when I feel the bed empty beside me. A sense of relief flashes in me when I hear the tap open and close from inside the bathroom.

I get out of the bed and tie my hair into a bun, stretching my arms above my head. This nap was a needed one, I feel refreshed already and I cannot wait for what's ahead in our trip.

He comes out of the restroom but doesn't look at me. His head is hung down as he wipes off his face from the towel in his hands.

"Have a good rest?" he asks, his voice suppressed against the towel.

"Yep, you?" I walk towards him and he nods his head yes in response.

When he faces me, it comes to my notice that his face is red, his eyes hooded. Even though he has washed his face, I can tell he has been crying.

"What happened?" I ask him, swiping my thumb across his cheek.

"Nothing, why?" he sniffles, still not making eye contact with me.

"Hardin" I bring my palms on either side of his cold face and turn his face towards me.

"I just woke up Tess, nothing happened" he places a quick kiss on the tip of my nose and walks away.

Something did happen but I know he won't tell me that easily.

"Should we get going?" he asks, packing the open backpack.

"Yes just give me a few minutes" I give him a smile and walk inside the bathroom.

Finally, after some adventure, we finally reach the place in Rhode Island that Hardin booked for us. It is indeed a beautiful resort type place, with gorgeous lights that just bring out the beauty of snow around us.

We enter the lobby and we are immediately hit by warmth. The temperature is so cozy and nice here, there's Christmas tree, lightings, and a cheerful vibe around here.

"Wait for me, I'll get the room keys. Yeah?" Hardin says, placing a kiss on my forehead and I nod before he walks away to the reception.

The reception is crowded, as I expected, so he is definitely going to take some time. My eyes find a couch in the corner, just beside the Christmas tree, and I walk towards it with our bags.

I wonder what we are going to do here. There might be a reason Hardin chose this, and I really want to know.

I look around while waiting for him, there are so many couples, families even. With their kids running around, all dressed up in beanies and scarfs, laughing and chasing each other. Moments like this when it hits me I can never have this, are just petrifying. The only thing on my list I can never experience.

"Come on" Hardin brings me back from my thoughts and I look at him. He's holding out a hand for me and smiling, waiting eagerly to take me wherever. I keep telling myself he is all I ever need. He is my everything. And even without kids or anything, I am the happiest with him. He is the family I need.

I take his hand and return his smile, he kisses the back of my hand and we start walking outside. He tells me we get personal small villas here, instead of hotel rooms like we always go to. I am pretty excited about this.

"You good?" he asks and I give him a nod. It is freezing here, especially now because we're around water and the sun has completely set. He keeps checking up with me like this, but never mentions that he is actually asking about my sickness, and I love him for that.