Without Her

chapter 10 - need to process

Tessa's POV:

"Wait for me in the car, I'll be right back" he hands me the car keys and before I could ask more, he leaves.

After the news we just got, I don't even know how to react or say. We haven't said anything to each other yet, except what he just said.

I unlock his Mercedes and get into the passenger seat. I was a little upset when he got this car last year. His old car is still with us, she's the love of his life. I was upset because I thought this car was not very Hardin plus it has only two seats so I thought he was indirectly telling me it's going to be just us for the rest of the lives. But I was wrong, this car suits his personality perfectly. And oh the chills I get when I watch him drive this sexy car.

I am brought back from my car thoughts when he enters and slams the door a little louder. With him accompanies smell of cigarette, and my mind immediately takes me places.

"Did you smoke?" I ask and he snaps his head at me while locking his seatbelt.

"No" he says quickly and starts the car.

"Hardin-"

"I didn't Tessa!" he raises his voice and I flinch back. "Jesus" he sighs and shakes his head, without any other word.

I keep quiet and just look outside, trying so hard not to think about it but how in the world am I supposed to process this.

All the way back to home he doesn't say a word, neither do I. This silence is killing me but again, I have no idea what to say.

"What do you wanna have for dinner tonight?" I ask as we step in the elevator and he presses his lips together.

"I don't know" he brings his hand on his forehead and rubs it, taking a long breath.

I say nothing and go stand in front of him. He looks at me with no expression after I try to get something out of him. I give up and turn around as we reach our floor.

"You don't have office today?" I speak again, hoping to get him to talk.

"You want me to go?" he stops in middle of removing his coat and I shake my head.

"You can go if you want. You don't have to stay for me. I'm fine-"

"Of course you are" his whisper was almost unbearable as we wears his coat again and leaves the apartment.

I don't know how this is triggering him but I am in no mood to handle his tantrums right now. And if I'm being honest with myself, I needed some time alone, to process this bomb dropped on me. Our lives are going to change forever.

All I can think about is how I'm fucked.

Hardin's POV:

I think my hair is going to come out, I've tugged at it so many times. I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do right now.

I told her I was going to office but how can I? I want to be there with her. But I understand that she might wanna be alone after what news we've just gotten. I mean our lives will never be the same again.

I haven't felt what I'm feeling right now, ever. How am I supposed to take care of her if I cant even handle the news?

My phone keeps buzzing and I haven't picked it up thinking it's Tessa but I finally decide to check it as I pull up at the nearest coffee shop. To my surprise, it's Kimberly.

"Hello?" I speak unwillingly.

"What the fuck Hardin!?" she snaps and I check the name on the screen to confirm if it's the always-jolly woman or have I got someone wrong.