Lunchtime is always a major event during a normal day in Chaldea. Not only is the food great, it's also one of the rare opportunities where Stuff doesn't have anything planned. As such, the seat next to him becomes the new Holy Grail for which many servants are willing to throw their lives away for.
On this particular day, the last two servants standing were Mash and Ushiwakamaru, the latter clearly having the upper hand as the Shielder servant struggled to even keep her weapon in hand.
"Give it up, shield bearer. You are already the servant who spends the most time with my lord."
"I refuse. I may lack in experience, but I don't want to share senpai with anyone else."
"Then you leave me no choice."
The battle raged on for an unexpected amount of time. Despite her exhaustion, Mash's defensive abilities managed to hold off her opponent's deadly and precise strikes and even managed to land a few hits in, although, in the face of all odds, it wasn't enough and eventually, the Shielder lost all strength, leaving Ushiwakamaru to be the one to share this precious moment with her Master.
"Ehm, my Lord, may this Ushiwaka have the right to-"
What cut her off was an UFO that flew through the windows at very high speeds, hitting her right in the head into a wall.
Jumping out of the top of this device was a small sized girl wearing a rather loose fitting outfit. Overlooking the war zone, she turned her attention towards the Master of Chaldea who was trying to fit a comically large amount of sugar into his yogurt, blissfully unaware of the world shattering amount of energy that was poured in the room he's standing in.
The Master of Chaldea, upon noticing the new arrival, took off his headphone and sat with the bench between his legs, body turned towards the girl.
"Have we seen each other?
"Not that I know of."
The girl dusted herself off before introducing herself.
"I am Helena Blavatsky. A strange magical energy seems to gather in this area, and I'm hoping that by gaining a better understanding of it, I would be closer to Mahatma."
Stuff nodded along to the long winded explanation, successfully pretending to listen. Still, his curiosity got the better of him and so he asked.
"That's great and all but why does it matter to me?"
"You seem to be the source of this strange magical energy, and so I will need your help to gather this information."
She walks closer to the Master, climbing up the bench and cupping his head with her hands. As she closed her eyes, the Master couldn't help but be confused.
"Any reason fo-"
"Silence."
"Sure, I guess, let's not socialize with the person who casually grabs your head."
After this comment, Stuff stopped speaking, waiting for Helena to be done with whatever she's doing. After an uncomfortably long moment of this process, Helena releases her hold of the man's head before resuming a more... conversational stance.
"How odd. Where Mahatma is the wisdom acquired by complete knowledge of the world, you seem to reject your own potential in favor of short term enjoyment. You seem to stand at the very opposite end of Mahatma."
"That's great and all, but, what is that supposed to mean?"
Helena rubs her chin, wondering herself what to do with the new information she acquired. Eventually, she came up with a solution.
"Thesis, antithesis, synthesis. The basics of creating a good reasoning. In this situation, you are the antithesis of Mahatma. And so, by understanding you, I inch closer to Mahatma. This is decided, I will need you to further my own research."
"Alright, now what do I get from all this chat."
"You aren't making this easy now are you? Well, the only thing I have is me, so what do you think about having me as your servant?"
Stuff looked at the potential new addition of his team, moving his gaze from up to down, and then back up before taking a stance.
"Sure, why not."
Helena tried to hide her body at this answer.
"You were thinking about something lustful weren't you?" She said, before regaining a normal position. "Then again, if I am to understand you, I will need to put my body on the line. The path to Mahatma is truly filled with obstacles." She sighs, moving on to other matters.
"So what were you doing before all that?"
Overall, today's lunch was a positive experience.
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Helena fans where you at? For real, I know you're here, she got a lot of attention a while back and I want to know why.
Also I heard about Santa Helena. Man, this shit sucks.
