When you die

You heard me right

    I begun to wake up. As I was doing so I heard what sounded like Gojo talking to nanami.

"I don't know what to think. It looks like self harm to me but he did just get out of a fight so it choice he that" Nanami voice said.

"So what should We do?" I heard Gojo say. I soon opens my eyes fully and grunt. I look at my arm  and relies it has been bandaged.

"Well we can't do anything until we're for sure because for all we know it could be nothing." Nanami said.

"But what if it is true and not doing anything makes it worse." Gojo said.

"Look we can keep a close eye on him but until we're for sure we can't do anything durastic ok." Nanami said.

"Yeah your right. Let's just keep a close eye for now." Gojo hesitantly agrees.

My back aches and as I tried to sit up I made an audible grunt.

"Oh Yuji, your awake. How are you feeling?" Gojo asked. I just looked at him. To be honest I woke up and heard them talking about my scars.

'They know... we'll they don't but the have suspicions.' I thought. 'Shit' I got myself to sit all the way up. "You were alseep for an hour." Gojo stated.

"To be honest we thought you'd passed out at least until after the games were done" Nanami said.

"Wait the games are still going. Can I join in again?!" I ask .

"Woo woo. Hold your horses mister. You got a hurt back and a bunch of bloody cuts. You need to rest." Nanami said.

"But I-"

"No 'buts'. Your hurt." Gojo said pushing me into a laying position.

"Hey Itadori well we're on the topic. How did you get those cuts on your arm?" Nanami asked.

"Huh..." 'shit. Gotta think of something.'

"One of the people after me had a sword and she hit me a few times." I explained.

They both gave me a questioning looks but took the answer... I thought. Little did I know that they were still highly suspicious of my cuts.

"Well Itadori I'm gonna take you back to your dorm area, whatever the hell it's called, and I want you to get some rest." Nanami said.

"I- ok" me and Nanami walked back to the dorms and he helped me to my room before saying goodbye and leaving.

'God I'm so useless. I can believe they almost found out. I'm so weak. God what is wrong with me.' I thought.

I had an urge to cut. So instead of trying to suppress it I decided to give in and do it. And you know what. It felt a lot better. Not trying to stop it. Just doing what I need to do.

I pressed down. I hissed in pain but knew I deserved it. That I needed it. The release. I made around 15 cuts before I decided to stop.

Damn kid. I didn't have to do a thing this time. Your making this to easy. He sneered.

I attempted to get up but failed.

It's all that blubber whighing you down. Sukana said.

"Huh what are you talking about? Im slim." I said.

Clearly not slim enough. Your weighing yourself down. It makes you more weak and pathetic than usual.

'I- am I really fat?' I thought. 'No. I'm fit. I have abba of steel and a slim body. yet, when I looked in the mirror I saw was Someone else. Different than who I described. One who didn't look like the others. Some one who was slower. Weaker. Just a loser.

'Maybe he's right... maybe that's why I stood no chance against todo...'

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I ran to the toilet and threw up the contents of my stomach. My throat burned from the acid and coughing.

I chocked a bit. It was disgusting and painful and yet I felt better. It felt good to be... empty.

Damn kid keep it down would ya. Sukana said but I just ignored him.

I was completely exhausted at this point. I looked down to see that my arm was still bleeding badly. I slowly pulled myself up and washed my arm.

It stung but I could handle it. After I clean the blood resedue on the ground, flushed the toilet, rolled down my sleeve and plooped on my bed.

'God what am I doing?' I thought. Soon my eyes began to get heavy once more and not
Long after,

it went dark.