I Need You To Feel Again

Sunshine Boy

TW: Slight Mention of Panic Attack

He woke up in a cold sweat, and blankets were thrown off the bed. He groaned as he forced himself out of bed at the sound of his alarm. Jack walked to his mirror in his room and saw the tiredness behind his eyes. He thought to himself how he should sleep more, but realized how he would be so behind in high school if he did that. He was always wired at night, it was his only time to think. He sometimes stayed up texting Rian or Zack, but usually, it was just him and he didn't mind that. He changed his boxers and put on a pair of black ripped jeans, and a plain grey v neck shirt with a sweatshirt over his body. He usually didn't care what he wore, unless he was around Alex. He would sometimes hang out with him with Rian and Zack, but he wasn't as close to him as Rian and Zack were. He admired him, he loved how he smiled and generally just how he was. Jack knows Alex was gay, he just knows he would never like Jack.

"Hi honey," His mom said as Jack tiredly walked down the stairs.

"Hi Mom," he said, forcing a smile, which convincingly said, "I'm fine".

"Take your meds okay? I have to go to work. Is Rian driving you?" She asked.

He was used to his parents being absent, his dad worked for a bunch at the hospital delivering babies and his mom had a full-time job during the week. "Yeah, he is," Jack mutters, while he starts to make himself coffee.

"Okay Jack your father and I will be out late again you can order pizza if you want," She says practically running out the door.

"Have a great day Jack take your meds you're screwed up enough and we don't have time for that," he mimicked to himself. He went to the cabinet, and grabbed his medication, and took it even though he knew it wasn't doing what it needed to be doing.

Rian pulled up in front of his house, and he sat next to him. "Well you look pleasant to be around this morning," Rian said sarcastically as he read Jack's body language.

"I would have been if my mom didn't piss me off again," Jack laughed. He tended to use humor as a coping mechanism, Rian and Zack knew that and so did his parents. Jack could always get through the whole day without anyone noticing what was going on inside his head.

"It's the first day of the second semester we get new classes I guess that's good because we don't have to take math," Rian shrugged, changing the subject away from Jack's parents.

"Yeah and I'm taking photography this semester," Jack smiled, he loved photography. One of his favorite things to do to escape was to simply walk around Baltimore taking Polaroids of the scenery.

"That's cool JB I'm glad you actually want to go to a class," Rian laughs.

"You're smart you do good in everything asshole," Jack rolls his eyes, making Rian laugh even more.

They pull up to school around fifteen minutes before class, and Jack sees his first class is photography. He's excited, mainly because he can actually do something he enjoys in school. Rian and Zack have different classes than him until the last period, which is English. He feels the lump in his throat, knowing he won't know anyone in his other classes.

"Jack are you okay?" Zack asked snapping Jack out of his daze.

"Yeah I'm good, just tired," He shrugs.

"You'll be good Jack we will see you during the break okay?" Rian says, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Jack nods and says goodbye to Rian and Zack and he walks off to photography class. Okay, Jack you just have to get through an hour and a half before the break you will be okay. Just put your earbuds in tune it out. He walks into the classroom, and sits down at one of the desks towards the back, and stares at the door as the room starts to fill. He begins to fall asleep, but that was until Alex walked into the room. He wore a tight pair of skinny jeans, showing off his figure with a v neck shirt almost identical to Jack's; with his grey beanie. Alex made eye contact with Jack, which made Jack's stomach flip.