I Need You To Feel Again

Don't Do That Again

TW: Panic Attack

Jack was strictly on bed rest for about two weeks, and it was hard for him to stay laying down and staying mostly still. His doctor wanted him to be mostly still for about a week, and he did that. His new psychiatrist had prescribed him a new medication to help since he saw that the Lexapro had been causing the reaction all along for him. Rian made sure to help him stay caught up in school, Alex would have but the only thing he could help him with was photography but Jack already knew how to do that class. Alex made sure to keep him company when he wasn't at school, which often meant weekend sleepovers and one or two during the week. May stayed at home with Jack, and she often drove him around to appointments since their mom was working; she mainly took care of Jack after all of this had happened. He and his mom were on at least speaking terms now, but the tension could easily be felt between the two. Those two weeks ended up going by super fast, and eventually, it was time for Jack to finally go back to school. He was super nervous, and he ended up barely sleeping the night before. Jack tended to just cling to Alex the whole night, and eventually fall asleep for like an hour or two and then wake back up again. Jack jumped when the alarm went off, but Alex moved to turn it off.

"Morning babe," Alex yawned as he kissed Jack's cheek gently. Alex could sense Jack's nerves, so he just calmly rubbed circles in his back.

"I'm nervous Alex," Jack muttered.

"I know, you'll do great babe okay?" Alex smiled as he helped Jack sit up with him.

"Okay," Jack said, smiling a little bit at Alex.

Alex smiles at him and begins to get dressed right in front of him in a pair of ripped jeans and just a vans checkerboard hoodie with a grey beanie. Jack looked at him, and now that Jack could mostly change by himself Alex usually would give him privacy.

"You can stay," Jack muttered as he blushed slightly.

Alex looked a little bit shocked to hear his boyfriend say that, but he sat down on Jack's bed as he got up to his dresser. Jack bit his lip a little bit and looked around to see what he had to wear. Jack turned and got undressed in front of Alex and he felt his boyfriend's eyes gazing and he missed that a little bit. Jack put on a baggy pair of blue jeans that were held up by a studded belt, and then put a Ravens hoodie on. Alex went over to him, and kissed him gently, and walked downstairs with him. Jack saw that May had already left for work, but she made the boy breakfast so they didn't have to. Alex was happy she did because he knew full well that Jack would not have eaten unless it was made by her or him.

"You look handsome today baby," Alex said as he kissed Jack's cheek.

"Thanks, Lexy," Jack smiled a little as he held his hand at the table.

Alex nodded, and once they finished eating they both brushed their teeth and Alex started to drive them both to school. Jack saw Rian and Zack waiting for them by the entrance of the school. Jack held Alex's hand as they both walked out of the car, and they met with them.

"Hey Jack, I'm proud of you for coming today," Rian smiled as he hugged him.

"Thanks, Ri," Jack muttered.

"It's okay to be nervous, you're doing good so far okay?" Zack said, reassuring his friend.

"Yeah," Jack smiled a little as he rested his head on Alex's shoulder.

"I'm gonna start walking with him, we will see you guys at lunch," Alex smiled, waving goodbye to Rian and Zack.

Jack waved bye too, but he clung to Alex's side and walked into photography class nervously. He got a few looks from people, but he knew this was nothing compared to how the next period was going to be.

"We are just gonna be taking notes today babe okay?" Alex whispered to Jack.

Jack nodded, and pulled out his materials, and started taking notes like Alex. He ended up dozing off in the second half of the lecture. Alex saw that he had, so he made sure to let him sleep. The teachers knew about his current situation, but honestly who didn't. Jack's whole family drama had been on the news and the whole school knew about it.

Jack felt Alex waking him up towards the end of class, and the immediate rush of guilt for falling asleep rushed to his brain. He looked at Alex a little bit panicked, and he felt the eyes of some people on him.
"Hey it's okay, don't feel bad it was an accident," Alex whispered to him and held his hand.

"But I fell asleep... and everyone saw me and now people are staring at me. I just wanna go home Alex," Jack told him.

"I know babe, we only have four-ish more hours, okay? You are doing so well baby," Ales smiled at him. He snarled at everyone who stared at Jack, and he eventually got most people in their photography class to look away from him.

"Okay," Jack said, squeezing Alex's hand tighter.

The boys both walked out of that class, and Jack held Alex's hand as they walked down the hallway. Alex saw Rian and Zack down farther, and they saw Rian yelling at some dude. Alex walked closer holding Jack's hand, and Zack practically ran to them when he saw them.

"Alex don't let Jack hear what he's saying," Zack whispered to Alex. He thought that Jack wouldn't hear it, but he did because he was so close to Alex in the crowded hallways of their schools.

"What are they saying?" Alex said pissed off.

Zack sighed and whispered to Alex, "That Jack is a mental asshole whose parents were right to abuse him. And they are calling him well the f slur.."

Jack heard it, and he heard the football player yelling it too. He hated it, he wanted to be normal enough for no one to notice or acknowledge him. He didn't care though, but Alex did.

"Oh that asshole," Alex groaned as he gave Jack to Zack and walked over to where Rian was standing yelling at the football player.

"Alex? What the fuck go over there with Jack," Rian said.

"Why the hell are you bleeding Rian? And if you have something to say about my boyfriend you can fucking say it to my face instead of telling the whole fucking school," Alex snarled as he got closer to him. Alex was pretty lanky, all he had was his height and bad anger issues.

"All I was telling Rian, was that your boyfriend over there deserved to be abused because he's just a fucking faggot and you are too. Too bad he didn't die when he had to go to the hospital that night," The boy yelled at Alex.

Jack had begun crying when he heard that, and he knew that was possibly the perfect strike to light Alex's very short fuse. Alex had begun to not comprehend what was around him, not even Rian telling him to ignore it and just walk away and not let it bother him. Alex walked closer towards the football player, out of Rian's grip, and stared him right in the eyes.

"What? Are you going to fight me? You're just as scrawny as your boyfriend," The football player laughed. He lunged forward and took a swing at Alex's nose.

Alex felt the blood going down his lips. Alex jumped on the guy, but since he was not in the best physical ability he got slammed down on the floor. His face got swung again, and he felt the crack of his nose, and more blood pouring down his face. Teachers eventually broke up the fight, and Alex was on the floor freaking out. He had never told Jack about his anxiety, and he often kept it a secret. He felt Jack's arms around him, and he looked up sobbing at Jack.

"I know they are gonna be here soon, I'll go in the ambulance with you okay?" Jack said, stroking Alex's hair.

Alex nodded, and curled up on Jack's lap, and cried. Jack felt so guilty getting Alex into this situation, he never wanted anything to happen to him. He was his Alex, his light and he didn't want his light to get covered by his darkness. "I'm so so so sorry baby you didn't have to do that."

"Yes I did it was okay, I would go through this every single day if I had to just to defend you, Jack," Alex said crying as he clutched the wet towel over his broken nose.

"Okay but don't do it again," Jack said, tearing up.

Alex nodded and clung to his boyfriend, and waited for the ambulance to come.