I Need You To Feel Again

Hospitals Scare Him

Jack was in the waiting room anxiously waiting for Alex's parents to arrive. He didn't know what to do, Alex technically just broke his nose for him and was in surgery for it. He knew Rian had to get stitches, and Zack was with Rian so he was all alone. He started to cry, and shake in the waiting room and he felt people look at him and he didn't like that he felt so uncomfortable and vulnerable sitting there waiting. He felt a tap on his shoulder, and he saw Alex's mom standing over him.

"Hey Jack, is he okay? Where is he?" His mom asked Jack.

"H...he went into surgery for his nose," Jack muttered, shaking and trying to wipe his face. "I'm so sorry it's all my fault, he was trying to stand up for me to this asshole who hates us and teases me, and oh god..." Jack sobbed.

Alex's mom looked at Jack with sympathy, she saw how hurt and vulnerable Jack was. "Jack it's not your fault Alex wouldn't want you to blame yourself it's okay," she smiled, hugging Jack. She was so kind to him, Jack considered her so much more motherly than his mom.

Jack nodded, even though he felt extremely guilty and he saw Rian and Zack walk towards the two of them. "Is he in surgery?" Rian askes sitting down next to Jack.

Jack nodded, and he looked at Rian with tear-filled eyes. Rian sighed and rubbed Jack's back to comfort him. An hour ended up passing,  and soon enough Jack felt Ria waking him up to go see Alex. The boys walked into the room with Alex's mom, and Jack saw his boyfriend sitting up in bed with gauze stuffed in his nose, and a brace on top to keep it from moving.

"Jacky come here baby," Alex said softly as he reached out his hand.

Jack walked over to him slowly, and held Alex's hand, and sat down next to him. He saw how tired Alex was, and how much he was knocked up on drugs and painkillers. Jack kissed Alex's hand and saw his boy smile faintly at him. Jack didn't know how he could keep a smile through all of the pain he was in.

"Mom I'm okay don't worry," Alex smiled at her.

"Alexander," she sighed, hugging him.

Alex smiled at her and continued holding Jack's hand. "Can you guys give us a minute? I need to talk to Jacky."

Everyone exited the room, and it was just Alex and Jack there. "Baby this isn't your fault don't be upset love, I'm okay," Alex muttered to him.

"But Alex you did that because they were just being mean to me," Jack muttered, tearing up and moving closer to Alex.

"I would do it again, and..." Alex said, starting to cry a little bit. "Can you lay with me, Jacky?"

"Yeah baby I'm here," Jack said as he got up into the bed with Alex and held him. Alex started to cry, and he didn't cry around anyone besides Jack. He crumpled up Jack's shirt in his hand and felt Jack rub his back gently trying to comfort him and help him. Alex hated hospitals, probably because of how it was the last time he was with Jack but also just everything in them. He didn't like the way the walls were, he didn't like how he was just confined to his room. He started to breathe heavily, and his whole body started to tense up. It felt like weights were being pressed down into his chest, he felt held down by something. He looked at Jack with wide eyes and started to shake on his lap.

"Hey baby, what is it?" Jack asked as he helped him sit up to get air. Alex started to hyperventilate, and his heart rate started to rise and the monitor started to get louder in the room which only freaked him out more.

"No no no no no," Alex cried as he grabbed onto Jack.

Jack held him tighter, as compression was shown to help people during panic attacks. "Baby listen to me, look at me it's okay I'm here I'm not leaving you're safe with me," Jack said holding Alex's body close as possible to his.