I Need You To Feel Again

Afraid of Being Alone

Song used: I'm Lost Without You-Blink-182

TW: mentions of abuse, depressiom, mentions of abuse

The rest of the weekend was great. May ended up taking Jack and Alex to all the places Jack wanted his boyfriend to see. They visited Times Square and somehow got there at the perfect time when it wasn't crowded. Jack was able to take more polaroids of his boyfriend, and Alex secretly stole Jack's camera to get some for him. They also went to Central Park and had a picnic, just the two of them it was perfect. This weekend was good to get things off of Jack's mind, it calmed him down and made him happier to get away from his parents. Alex hadn't seen his boyfriend so happy in weeks, it made him smile. Alex knew that it could probably change in seconds though when they went back home and he had to stay home by himself for like two days until he was able to sneak off or have Alex over. Jack hated being at his house, he was scared of it even. They eventually began to drive home, and Jack was nervous the whole time.

"Alex what if something happens I'm scared," Jack frowned as he squeezed Alex's hand across the seats.

"If something happens you call me or Rian or Zack baby okay? I'll help you no matter what," Alex says comforting his boyfriend.

Jack nods and leans his head on Alex's shoulder as he drives. Alex decided to put in one of Jack's favorite Blink-182 CDs he knew would cheer him up. They sing along to the songs, and Jack turns it down a little bit the second I'm lost without you comes on and looks at Alex with his beautiful chocolate brown eyes. Alex smiles at him and kisses his cheek, and Jack starts to sing to Alex for a change. Jack was super shy about singing, but he wanted to for Alex.

I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin

Are you afraid of being alone?
'Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight?
'Cause I am, I'm lost without you

I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now I can hear footsteps I'm dreaming
And if you will keep me from waking to believe this

Alex smiles at his boy, and he knows the deep meaning behind Jack choosing this song specifically to sing to him. Alex kisses Jack on his soft pink lips and holds his hand.

"You sounded beautiful baby," Alex tells Jack as the rest of the song continues to play.

"Thank you, Lexy, but I do mean it. I like you, Alex," Jack says to him.

"I like you too," Alex says as he kisses him again.

Jack smiles at him and goes back to leaning on his shoulder and eventually falling asleep the rest of the car ride. He gets woken up by Alex, and he jolts awake to see they are already at his house.

"Hey baby we're at your house okay I'll help you inside and tuck you into bed I know you're tired," Alex whispers to him.

Jack nods, and he feels Alex's arms wrap around his body when he picks him up and carries him inside bridal style. He hears his parents a little bit, but he's so exhausted he can't pay attention to the words they are saying. Jack and Alex ended up getting back to the house at like 8 pm and for some reason, Jack was wiped out. He felt Alex help him sit up on the bed, and he closed the door so Jack could have some privacy.

"Jacky I'm gonna get you in pajamas okay?" Alex smiled, kissing his boyfriend's lips.

Jack nodded tiredly in response, and he felt Alex's hands undress him gently and put him in new boxers and a t-shirt. He wrapped Jack in his favorite blanket and helped him lay down in bed so he could sleep.