I Need You To Feel Again

The Voices Whisper

TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Abuse, Blood

He felt arms wake him up, Jack jolted at the feeling and sprung awake. He hated that feeling, he started to breathe heavily and started crying. His phone had died, so he wasn't connected to the call with his boyfriend. He opened his eyes and saw his dad standing near him and Jack screamed he remembered the last time this happened when he was younger.

"Jack shut up you don't want your mother waking up do you?" His father laughed while he pressed his hands over Jack's mouth to silence him.

Jack screamed, he didn't want this he couldn't handle this he was scared. He kneed his dad in his gut, and he could smell the bourbon through his pores. Jack knew he was going to regret hurting his dad, he would probably bring out the blade.

"Dad stop it you're d d drunk," He muttered shoving his father off of him trying to protect himself.

"No you deserve it, Jack, you're a disappointment to this family, and everyone around you. Your mental no one will believe you if I hurt you. You probably do it yourself," His dad laughed as he hit him in his ribs once again.

Jack started to cry, and he felt the punches start to hit him. Every strike they began to hurt less, Jack screamed every single time though hoping someone would hear him. He was so scared, he knew he had to keep this from Alex though he was already causing him so much pain. Jack felt the blood from a new cut his dad had made down his ribs slowly start to soak his sheets. He was now sobbing, and he looked at his dad with pleading eyes to stop hurting him. His dad walked out of his room and slammed the door, and went back down to the living room to probably pass out. Jack laid down on his bed, he was so tired he couldn't move. Sobs shook his body, and the silence began to fill the room and his head. You should stop fighting Jack, let your father hurt you. You deserve it, you're worthless. Keep all your pain a secret, just give up. Tell everyone the meds are working, be happy for Alex. Push people away, you're better off alone you don't deserve anyone. Just let everything bad happen to you.

"GO AWAY!" Jack screamed as he felt the blood pour out more from his body as he screamed. He had to try not to give in, he wanted to be with Alex all he wanted was Alex. The voice in his head wanted him to cave in though, he believed it though.

Jack groaned as the pain in his side began to grow worse, and he pressed the gauze he ripped off that was covering his cuts onto it. He felt the weight of the gauze begin to grow quickly, and he cried in fear and pain now. He looked at the clock to see it was about 5 am now, he stepped up carefully and reached for the butterfly closures on his dresser. The dark red liquid began to run down his legs, and he was terrified of it. He grabbed them and flopped back down on his bed exhausted. His vision began to blur quickly, and he applied the closures carefully before he passed out. He knew he had lost a lot of blood, and he was panicking he would call for help but he was terrified of what would come out if he had asked for help.

He woke up to his phone ringing this time since he charged it before he passed out, and he saw it was Alex. He grabbed it and pressed the green button accepting the call. "Hey sorry, what's up?" Jack groaned as he tiredly answered his boyfriend's call in his morning voice.

"Baby, it's 7:30 did you just wake up?" Alex asked as it sounded like he was drinking his coffee.

"Oh Uhm yeah, I'm sorry," Jack groaned, starting to cry a little. His side hurt massively and all he wanted was that pain to go away and to stay home.

"Hey, Hey what's wrong Jacky? Why are you crying, are you okay?" Alex asked him.

"Yeah Uhm I just don't feel that good I might stay home today," Jack groaned.