Espera | R. Grayson ✔

[36]

For the first time in his life, Richard felt as if he had failed horribly.

As he looked down at the bloodied mess that once used to be his little friend, it took him a lot of strength to control himself.

Those sapphire blue irises had closed forever and it all seemed like it was his fault. 

Still in the Batman suit as he had dropped by upon seeing a ruckus going on at the foot of Drake Corporate, the sight that had met him had shaken him terribly.

By eye witness accounts, it seemed as if Tim had committed suicide.

And right then, his broken body lay in a pool of a blood on the cold ground with people crowded all around, murmuring that one day it was bound to happen.

"Shut up," he growled, unable to stand the accusatory voices that were closing in from all sides, "shut the hell up!"

Silence swept over the crowd and the police had not dared to stop him from edging closer to the corpse. A corpse that used to be a young bundle of innocence to him, a little boy that he had vowed to look out for and protect no matter what happened.

A boy he failed to save.

If he only he had had the slightest idea of what could happen that night, he wouldn't have let Tim leave his sight for even a second. He would have stopped him from committing suicide no matter what price he had to pay for it.

If only he had been in the vicinity right then, he would have swooped in to save him even after the boy had let go of his footing on the rails at the rooftop of Drake Corporate's building.

He could have risked everything to keep him safe.

And yet he hadn't been there for him at a time he actually needed to be rescued.

As a result, he was no longer alive and his lifeless corpse was right in front of Richard, tormenting the hell out of him.

It reminded him of the night his parents had fallen to their deaths as the trapeze broke, their bodies lying in a pool of blood in the central ring of the circus.

He hadn't been able to do anything to save them back then nor could he save Tim from his untimely end.

It was getting hard for him to see through the mask as tears clouded his vision. He was shaking as he bent down, hand closing onto the tiny wrist to feel for a pulse but there was none.

The boy wasn't breathing either and even if he hadn't died from the fall, the amount of blood around him was enough for him to die of blood loss instead. 

No matter what the cause, the bitter truth was that Timothy Drake was no more.

The crowd parted again as Barbara dashed through, reaching the crouched figure of Batman.

"Richard," her voice was a hush as she placed her hand on his shoulder, eyes wide in fear to see Tim's dead body in front of them.

"Miss Gordon, please ask him to back off," one of the officers who were there approached them, "and you have to leave too. This case is under the GCPD's surveillance and we would not want the crime scene to be tempered with."

Richard looked up and even though the mask concealed his eyes, Barbara could feel the rage flash within him.

She held tighter as she nodded back to the officer, gesturing him to retreat so that she could get Richard to back off too or else the man was enraged enough to punch whoever stepped in between.

The ambulance had arrived to take the dead body away for a post mortem and things had to be carried out according to procedure, Barbara was well aware of that. But Richard did not seem to be in the state to comprehend anything.

She somehow managed to lead him away though the murmurs among the crowd increased, the people's attention flickering towards them from the young soul that had perished not long ago.

"You have got to go," she urged him, keeping her voice as low as possible for she did not want others to overhear them, "please..."

"He just... He died and you're telling me to leave?"

His eyes were still locked onto the place where Tim lay all broken and damaged beyond repair, his fist clenching as the corpse was laid on to a stretcher and taken to the ambulance.

She was devastated about Tim's death too but she was also seeing everything else that Richard couldn't due to the pain and anger clouding his senses. She could see that if Richard, or rather Batman, didn't leave just yet it would give the press a lot to talk about and draw conclusions to his real identity.

"You're Batman at the moment, you can't lose control like this," she tried to remind him and deep down she hated herself for having to make him leave but if he stayed, things could get worse, "please... You have to go."

He didn't move and the pain in his voice stabbed through her heart as he spoke in a low guilt ridden tone, "I couldn't save him..."

"Hey, that's not..."

"I promised to give him reasons to live," his voice shook and he turned to face her, the distress radiating off him, "and I failed!"

His head was throbbing violently such that he felt it would explode. Tim's corpse had been taken away, the people gathered around had started to disperse as well yet Richard was rooted to his spot, torn in pain and guilt.

The mask concealed features so Barbara had no way of certainly telling what was going through his head at the moment. But judging by the pain and anger he felt, she knew it would only end up in chaos.

Struggling hard, she somehow managed to get him to Gotham Tower and deep down she prayed no one had followed them there. Though soon as they were inside the tower, Richard completely broke down.

He tore off the mask and Barbara winced to see the tears streak down his cheeks as he sank to the ground.

Right then he was so devastated that she was scared how to deal with him. The only other time she had seen him cry was when he had recounted his past to her.

But right then, the devastation he was going through seemed thrice painful as compared to the last time.

He held his throbbing head in his hands, not able to acknowledge that Barbara had wrapped her arms around him.

All he could hear were the accusations thrown his way by voices that blamed him for Tim's death.

He had vowed to save the city, he was Gotham's protector and yet he had failed to save his own dear friend.

And there was nothing he could do to bring him back.

***