Espera | R. Grayson ✔

[44]

Bruce had been feeling a lot more weighed down than usual. He had not wanted to doubt Lavina but some way or other, a lot had happened that had made him question how had he even trusted her in the first place.

The more he wanted to forget about it, the more secrets began to unravel related to the woman he had fallen in love with.

He felt as if Lavina had two personalities; one was the thoughtful, daring yet mesmerizing woman he had fallen for and the other personality was the selfish, intimidating and manipulative woman that he had barely caught glimpses of. 

He did not know which was the true shade to her personality and it had only made him end up in a whirlwind of doubt.

He was eyeing the text she had sent him to meet her for lunch at her mansion with mixed thoughts. Deep down, he felt as if something was going to tear them apart and she was somehow well aware of it too.

Still, he decided it would be better to face the situation than turn a blind eye to it. After all, turning a blind eye to everything else about her hadn't ended so well for them.

So by lunch time, he showed up at the Vikander Mansion, making an effort to make up for the last time they had met and almost had an argument. He had brought a bouquet of flowers for her though deep down he knew she cared not for any such gestures.

She was very difficult to understand for him even though they had been together for quite some time by then. Still, he wanted to clear things up on his side and see what really was the reason behind her sudden estrangement towards him.

The butler had received him and led him up to Lavina's room, telling him that she had not been feeling well and had stayed in her room the entire previous day as well. That made him anxious as he knocked, watching the butler leave.

"Come in."

He pushed open the door and found her in bed, a blanket pulled up over to her shoulders and she looked every bit as sick as the butler had implied. Seeing him, she sat up and offered a weak smile.

She looked a mess and he didn't know what had happened that had reduced her to such a state. Never once had he seen her in such a state and deep down it worried him.

"Lavina, what happened?"

She looked up, dark irises mysterious as ever while she gestured him to sit beside her, "I think my age is finally catching up to me."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm feeling a little... Under the weather. I'll be fine though... Eventually."

He felt as if she was hiding something from him, probably not being able to decide how to tell him what was really on her mind. He had given her the bouquet and though she put it aside, her fingers lingered lightly over the red petals, a thoughtful look spreading on her face.

But then she spoke up out of her own accord, "I have got to tell you something very important."

"Okay, go on."

"I... I think I can't keep this up any longer," she placed her hand in his which had the engagement ring shining upon that slender finger, "I have thought this over a lot and reached the conclusion that it would be better if we just abandon this idea. It's not going to work."

His blue eyes widened in alarm, "but why? What happened? Did I do something to upset you?"

She shook her head, an almost sad look crossing her features, "no, of course not. But I have done a lot that could upset you."

"If this is about what I said to you regarding Timothy..."

She stiffened, "it's not that... Or partially, it is."

His eyes flickered slightly, gaze observant as he asked, "why don't you just tell me the truth?"

"The truth..." Her eyes glazed over as if reflecting upon his words, "it's easier said than done."

"Try me."

A soft smile flickered on her face as she retrieved her hand from his, eyes focusing on him, "you really keep on proving that I don't deserve you."

"What happened all of a sudden that you're so struck down like this?"

She took in a deep breath, thinking on what to tell him. At last she spoke up, "all I can tell you is that there's much more to me than you know right now. You fell in love with a side of me that I show to the world. You don't know who I really am, what I have done and trust me if you realized that... You would never want to be near me. So I think it's better if we break things off mutually, before it causes a lot more pain than it should to either of us."

"Tell me the truth then and let me decide for myself whether it's worth it to let you go or stay with you."

She knew he was stubborn; being the Mayor's son and being able to have his way all the time had made him quite resilient in not being turned down ever.

It was amusing since she too was a lot like that. But while he had born with a golden spoon, she had to strive her way to top, scraping off the remains of the many people from her heels that she had treaded upon in order to reach up.

"You remember I told you about this friend I had..."

"Barbara's boyfriend?" He interjected and that sent a pang through her heart again.

"Yeah him... Barbara's boyfriend..."

"What about him?"

"I made things even worse between us and it's clear he no longer wants to even acknowledge me anymore," she was covering up parts she thought that weren't necessary for him to know, "you could say in a sense I got rejected and I didn't take it well... I had been feeling so frustrated afterwards that I... I think I overstepped my boundaries."

It all felt a lot cryptic but he was aware that she wouldn't elaborate and he had to piece everything together by himself.

"Why are you even so keen on mending your friendship with him if he clearly doesn't want it?"

She sighed, "I guess old habits die hard... I am trying to look out for him even now and it's only messing up with me and my life."

"Then don't look out for him," he remarked as if it was that simple for him, "he's not a child, Lavina, let him be."

She kept silent thinking that it was surely not that easy to let go of a person one had invested such a lot of time and effort into. She hadn't been lying when she had told Richard that she missed the days when she used to train him.

Back then, he had been been an obedient student, envisioning her as his benefactor and always trusting her. She missed those days though she knew very well that she had messed it all up herself.

On the other hand, one thing had struck Bruce in between their discussion so he wanted to clarify it. "What boundaries were you talking about earlier?"

She stiffened and lowered her head, "I... I cheated on you."

"What?"

"I'm sorry..." The words escaped her lips though it didn't seem like an apology at all, it seemed more like a statement. "That's why I told you this might not work. I don't deserve you."

He felt as if someone had put him through an electric shock and it all seemed very hard to process, "but why? And with whom?"

However, the knock on the door interrupted them and the butler entered with the lunch set on the trolley. He apologized for interrupting but was dismissed shortly after. 

The lunch was untouched at the trolley for both seemed to have no appetite left after the discussion that had been going on.

"Just take your ring back, Bruce," she remarked, "I don't want to be unfair to you."

"Can I at least know the real reason to this?"

"The real reason is what I already told you," she took the ring off herself and placed it in his palm, closing his hand around it, "you deserve a lot better than me."

***