The Glorious Triumph - Previously {The Nerd Kicks Ass}

24: Going Through The Motions

Ryan's POV

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I squeeze my hands together trying to keep them from trembling. 

What did I do?

What did I do?

What did I do?

What did I do?

What did I do?

I didn't know why blood is so sticky. I got cuts and gashes before. I don't remember it being like that.

What did I do?

My thoughts run through my mind as I scramble to wash it off in the sink. The blood still sticks to my skin. I tear into my flesh hoping to get it out, as I feel something damp run down my face. It hits my mouth, salty. I don't dare look in the mirror. I can't look at myself.

What did I do?

What did I do?

"You'll be alright, kid. You did good," Luke's callused hand grabs my shoulders massaging them roughly - not in a way to be relaxing, but to be a reminder.

What did I do?

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Grey's POV

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Today's the day - last game in regionals! Still so fresh after the accident, only days after Jackson's wake. The high school held a student memorial for Jackson and Marina in the gym  the day of the wake, where they let students also know the time and location if they hadn't heard. 

People the whole week were solemn, the days dragged on and even Gina was quieter. Ryan hasn't been in school all week, Parker and Kyle have been silent until I made the move and approached them during the memorial. 

"Are you guys doing okay?" Kyle nods and Parker only sighs. 

"Again, I'm sorry Grey." I stop Kyle from talking more. 

"Don't apologize, you shouldn't have to."

"No I do. He changed lately. I don't know why or how but he has. I hate it. He's my best friend and he just changed. Even after everything that we've gone through."

I bite my lip, knowing I'm to blame. Had I not been a boxer, had I not gained the reputation I had, everything we know could have been avoided. 

Parker speaks for the first time to me in awhile, almost to where I didn't think he was even speaking to me. "I know you think that you started this but I think it's been bubbling up for awhile."

Kyle looks at him just as surprised as I was. "You think so?"

"Yeah, he was so fixated on getting stronger and just beating Caster. But even before then, I mean we rule this school. Well, ruled. I think you and I kinda lost our mojo," he shrugs to Kyle.

"I could care less about that. I don't mind not acting like an asshole anymore."

"Honestly, me too. Especially since I've always just been the brawn."

"I've been the brains."

"What does that make Ryan?" I chime in curiously.

"A hot-tempered idiot," Kyle responded surly. 

The memorial continued on, with speakers being friends with either one or both of them. The boys varsity team even went to the podium to make a speech. I bite my lip watching Tristan step forward with a slip of paper, one that I had helped him the night before.